Friend Or Foe.

Back at school, I would witness the 'popular' kids being unpleasant to someone and then a nice girl would join their group, and I think, "Why?"

My mother tells me it's called 'Mean Girls Syndrome' - Derived from the American film 'Mean Girls', starring Lindsay Lohan whose character becomes close with the 'Plastics'. No matter how nasty the girls are, everyone still aspires to be them because they're popular and beautiful. They have the power to command.

The sad thing is that I still see it today.

I subvert from that clique group. If someone is mean, I step away. Like I did with my former best friend two years ago. I had been best friends with this girl since Year 7, she had such a bubbly personality, but as the years went by, I began to realise what kind of person she was. I thought we would look out for each other as well as for other people but she only thought about herself.

For example, when a mutual friend of ours developed romantic feelings for a boy in Year 8, this poor girl told my friend this and a day later, my friend was dating this boy. I was confused. I didn't understand why she did it. I guess if somebody else desires something, you'll desire it. I don't think she had any morals internalised at the time.

We then both started dating our first serious boyfriends in Year 10. Me and my friend drifted apart since our priorities were focussed on our relationships. We hadn't spoken properly in months and so when my ex-boyfriend broke it off with me after being together for two and a half years in December 2010, I received a text from her that night telling me to text her if I needed a chat.
I appreciated the sentiment but it wasn't genuine. This side was only awaken because she was being nosy. We hadn't spoken in months and she suddenly came out of the blue when something bad happens to someone else. I didn't reply.

Five months after it happened, I decided I didn't want her to be in my life anymore after I found she was gossiping to everyone in the Sixth Form common room about my sex life. She made me out like I was being promiscuous. I didn't need a person like that who's meant to be a friend but acts more of a stranger and talks about my life like that. It was humiliating. I cut off all contact with her for over a year. She needed to grow up before I wanted to talk to her again.

In August 2012, we started talking again and I had coffee with her. We caught up and we never brought up the reason why we didn't speak, just carried on as normal. I met up with her a few more times before I came to university, and she's still hasn't changed.
When I finished with an ex-boyfriend in September 2012, she sent me a text asking how I was and more pretentiousness. I said my thank you's and that's it. I was hoping to be on the road of recovery with her, hoping she'd be more considerate of her friends and be more aware of them since she doesn't reply to my texts or my best friend's texts. We don't bother anymore. We don't need to be treated like this and we're tired of chasing after her. All we wanted was to meet up for coffee since we know our time is limited due to jobs and assignments, but no luck.

I feel more like a spare part. If you're there, she'll remember you one day but forget about you for the rest.

After all these years, I'm still debating about who my real friends are. Even my mother still doesn't know.