Catch Up Time!

Wow, so I haven't blogged in over 4 months! Slacking a bit. I enjoyed my time at home and since coming back to Uni, I've been working on my coursework, but now I will use this bit of time to tell you what I've been up to. I'll break it down in months:

JULY

I was working back at home at my parents business so that I could earn rent money for my student house here in Southampton. I wasn't actually living here during the Summer, I wanted to be home. It was a strange feeling. I missed my family more than I had thought. They're actually sane for one thing. Oh yeah, more about my house! It had mould on the beds, on the ceiling, broken stairs, dirty carpets, the grass in the garden was dead during this time but it now needs a shave, etc.

AUGUST
I think it might've been this month where the house contract got complicated. The girls who agreed to live there decided not to anymore, all various reasons so this is how it kinda went:

Girl 1 left > boy replaced her > contract was passed around the country and signed > Girl 2 left > trying to find new person > found new person > Girl 3 left > found new person > I was in Southampton for 2 days and signed two contracts (one saying Girl 2 had left and the other for Girl 3 had left too, and signing on the two new people).

Peter went on holiday to Prague for a week with his Youth Centre buddies. Told me lots of stories, mainly being drunk until the morning.

SEPTEMBER
This is the month when me and Peter went on our first holiday together to Gran Canaria!
It was AMAZING! This trip was an early 21st birthday from my parents. The food was yummy, the sunshine felt really nice but I didn't tan as much as I thought. For dinner, we would dress up but because it was a family resort, it was mainly filled with parents and children. Parents there just wore t-shirts and shorts, but they dressed their children in cute dresses or tops. Sometimes I felt a bit too dressed up but I was on holiday with my boyfriend so meh.
Oh yeah, on the last night we were there, he broke the glass table which smashed into small pieces. He fell out of bed and knocked it over. He had to pay 70 euros in the end.

Later that month, I went back to university for second year and moved into my new house. It consisted of 3 other girls and one boy. My mum decided not to drop me off due to tiredness so it was just me and my dad. We dropped my things off at my house. My room was smaller than I remembered. Then we left to go to Costco (which is awesome!), then to town, TGI Fridays and then Ikea! Had a great day with him. I didn't get home until 7pm and so I went straight to my room to unpack. It took me 3 days to unpack everything! And I took less belongings with me this time as well. Didn't make sense. I did my clothes that night, decided to sleep there for the first time, but I didn't realise the time and the lack of thick walls - Had a shower at midnight and then dried my hair. Got a telling off afterwards for being noisy. Oops. So I decided to sleep at Peter's house for the remainder of the month, and October, and maybe a bit of November. To be honest, I practically live there. His house is lush though. First night I slept in my room, the heating was on and I didn't sleep well at all. My small room felt like a sauna. I sweat a lot when I get too hot.

OCTOBER
Erm, I can't actually remember what happened in this month? I had work already, I think it was this month or next month that the boy who was living with us moved out to live with his mother. He didn't like us and he needed to save money, but he's still paying rent and our internet until we find someone else. We need someone else really badly. Even though he's an odd boy, don't want him paying for rent at a house he's not living at.
Oh, Halloween! Was going to go out dressed as a pirate, waiting for Peter to come home to go Popworld but while we were waiting, Peter's housemate and classmate drank a whole bottle of Whisky within an hour (second time, different month), he came home, sat on the sofa and started spitting on the floor and on his trousers. Ew. Then lo' and behold, he vomited. Told him to go to the bathroom, wouldn't budge and now he had bunch of angry housemates onto him. He didn't know what he was doing or where he was. Don't think he cared about his liver to be honest.
My parents also came to Southampton. We travelled during the night before the storm hit the next day and we were petrified! It was heavily raining, dark and puddles everywhere! We went for Dim Sum.

NOVEMBER
It was my 21st birthday this month! And I didn't know what to do for it, for my 18th I had a great party with friends. All I wanted to do was be in a relaxed state, watch I'm A Celeb and be with Peter and friends. When the day came, I received loads of cards and gifts. One of them was from Simone - She got me Salt and Pepper Willy Shakers. Mum says I can't use them at home. Ha. I was presented with two cakes (one made by Spela and the other by Peter's mummy - both delicious!), went to Turtle Bay for lunch and then Tootis in the evening.

The next day, I spoke to my dad on the phone and he had a birthday card in front of him, he opened it for me and it was from my ex. Didn't expect it. We ended on bad terms and we haven't spoken in over a year, so this card was out of the blue. It's a nice gesture but I still don't want to talk to him.

NEXT MONTH....
I'm going to New York! Hope it snows.

The Next Generation.

I'm training to be a journalist and as part of the role, I'd be asking difficult questions and that is a skill. 

However, I have a 12-year-old sister who has a boyfriend in the same year as her and they both share an interest on how the world works like most young people do. Since I spend most of my time with them, I observed their behaviour to see how they approached adults with their curiosity.

They fired away with questions like children do but they often asked the most awkward ones without hesitating. I had to experience this when both my little sister and her boyfriend were intrigued about my ex-boyfriends:

"How did you break up?"

"Why did you break up?"

"Why did you go out with him?"

"Do you wish you never went out with him?"

Oh yes, interrogation from children do keep you on your toes and make you think about your answer because you can't explain it to them the way it's been informed to your friends and it must have a lesson to it all. I found it unusually uncomfortable because I was briefly talking about my serious relationships to a young child who might not understand why things happened.

Children don't think before they speak and they can get away with embarrassing questions simply because of their age and innocence. 

I find their inquisitiveness quite adorable and very funny because children come up with the most random things you would ever hear. 

This is why I think children would be cracking journalists since they have a genuine thirst for knowledge and they are talented at probing people for answers. 

However, it wouldn't be fair on them to land such an enormous job at that age. Children have other issues to attend to such as school crushes and Creeper explosions in Minecraft. 

So, for now, I think I'll let this idea slide. Growing up is inevitable, and they won't be young for long since they sprout up so quickly, so it's nice to let them enjoy being a child while they can.

I guess I've still got my job after all....For now.

The Day I Forgot My Phone.

Ha, well that was an interesting day. I don't think I have ever forgotten my phone before, then again, I'm quite blonde most of the time so this shouldn't surprise me.

It was during the Easter Holidays and I was planning to meet my friend for a catch up in Exeter, so I put my phone on charge before I left for the train. Somehow in my brain, I had forgotten about it completely. So I took my belongings and left the house. 

I got to the half way mark and realised to my horror that my phone wasn't in my bag because I usually check the time. I seriously didn't have time to go back home and I didn't want to miss this train so I took the risk, because I thought, we've arranged to meet in the pub upstairs so how hard can it be being phoneless? Well I was bloody being silly. 

Waiting on the platform for 4 minutes felt awkward. Usually, I would whip out my iPhone and get going on Facebook, but oh no, I was having an off day and here I was, looking at a fence on the opposite platform. I think it needed a paint...

On the train, however, it got worse. On a normal train ride, I would be playing games, checking the time, looking on Facebook a bit more and Instagram - all of these activities are on my phone and I left my little baby at home. I felt very lost. I had no sense of the time - I noticed the train didn't display the time on the day I forgot my phone which I thought was typical. So it made me think, I should really get a watch...

When I arrived into Exeter, the time was 11.40am which meant that I had 20 minutes to kill until the pub so I went walkies around town. Whilst walking into shops and peering through shop windows, I was surprised to find no clocks or times anywhere. I don't know how long it had been since leaving the station and it didn't help that nowhere had the time. I'm guessing it's because the staff had their phones on them. Or a watch. Damn.

I found a department store with the time but their floor was covered in clocks with a mixture of confusing times so it did make me want cry as I didn't know which one was genuine.

Now, bet you're wondering why I hadn't asked someone for the time? Good question. It would have been quite helpful but I like to know the time all the time which would have meant asking dozens of people throughout Exeter. That would be exhausting and embarrassing.

If I did ask some random stranger at the time, they would have popped out their phone and told me. Whilst their phone was out, I would've cheekily asked to use it to inform my friend that I had forgotten my phone because my head wasn't screwed on properly but because I didn't have my phone, I didn't know her number off by heart which made me think again - ALWAYS have an contacts list on you. 

Finally, I entered a British Heart Foundation store where I had to queue up for the time because there was a line for the counter. Oh dear. The nice gentleman looked at his computer screen and stated that it was 11.55am. I thought great, I didn't have long to wait now. Oh, how wrong was I.

I stood outside Weatherspoons debating whether to carry on standing there until my friend comes, however, I was also thinking, maybe she's upstairs already. Maybe she's early? So in I went and there was no sign of her, but I persisted and walked around the upper floor like I was lost. It was embarrassing since it was full of people but I needed to get over it in order to find my friend. 

Ten to fifteen minutes had gone and I wondered if she was running late so I decided to have a cup of tea and waited on a table for her. While I was drinking my tea, a sign in front of me confirmed my phone nightmare, on this display it said: "Free WiFi". Oh. My. Days. That dampened my mood.

Half an hour had passed, and I had finished my tea. I didn't know what was going on. If she was texting or calling me, I wouldn't know. After my tea, I thought I'd give it another go outside. When I did, I saw a young woman with longer hair than I remembered, with a Blackberry in her ear looking annoyed. I felt so much relief when I saw it was her! We both did. We immediately hugged each other and asked how long we'd both been waiting. 
Turns out she had been outside because she didn't want to go upstairs, just in case I wasn't there and she had rang me several times and wondered why I didn't pick up.

We both went inside to get our lunch and a good catch up. She said it was her fault for not coming in but it was my fault too for not bringing my phone. I didn't mind about her not coming in, I was just so glad to see her after so long. She's been one of my closest friends since College.

Looking back, I'm glad I forgot my phone. It taught me how important technology is but it can let you down from time to time. Especially if the owner is an airhead.

In the future, if I ever forget my device again, I will turn my ass around next time. And then text them to say I'll be late because I forgot my phone. Oh, wear a watch too. 

Ps. If you're wondering why it took me 15 minutes to finish a mug of tea, it's because I was sat alone on a four seater table where large families were coming in for lunch. As bad as it sounds, I wanted to reserve my table for as long as possible in case my friend showed up, so I drank very slowly. 

Being A Virgin Is Trending.

Being a virgin is now considered the norm. It doesn't have so much of a stigma anymore.

I think being a virgin has a positive image. I lost mine at 16 because I was in a long term relationship with my first love but if I wasn't, I would have waited until I went to university.

In college, I was good friends with this guy and he was still a virgin. The majority of his friends had already spread their wings and were pressuring him into losing it willy-nilly. I didn't like the way they were treating him because he was still 'intact' and so I advised him to wait. I told him to wait until the right person comes along, because you'll never get it back once its gone. Hopefully he's taken my advice and being careful.

Being celibate is not all bad. Many women and men have their reasons - For example, I have some friends who are religious and are remaining celibate/abstinent until marriage. 

There shouldn't be any pressure to lose it. If you're strong, you won't cave in.

Besides, there are advantages to dating or being a virgin:

1) You won't worry about pregnancy.

2) You don't have to worry about STDs or any other kinds of diseases - They're clean.

3) Less chance of getting Cystitis if a virgin - Mainly in girls.

4) Save money on condoms if you don't have sex. 

5) It's nice being new to the whole experience if it happens. 

Like I said, I lost mine at 16 years old. It may seem young but I was ready since I was in a relationship - and it was legal. However, once you have sex, it does take over your life because it's such a new experience and it's fun but the timing was bad for me as I was studying for my GCSEs at the time. 

I don't ever wish I never did it because I chose to do it when I was in love and with a man I wanted to give it to, but I have a little sister so I do worry sometimes that she will lose it at 16 because I found it acceptable that I did. If she does, I hope it is with someone worthwhile. You will always remember your first love. 

In the end, I think that if someone is willing to lose their virginity to you, it shows that they like you, they trust you and believe that it won't be wasted and taken for granted - Hopefully in the end, you won't end up as a total regret for someone. 

Life may not be a fairy tale, but I'm a romantic at heart. 

"Time Is A Great Healer" - Jane Austen.

Having romantic relationships is a funny thing, isn't it? One minute you're the most pleasurable person to be around, and then when it all falls apart, that person has this 'inner demon' released to cause havoc. 

Many relationships I have witnessed have terminated badly. Mine included. You learn so much about the person after the break up and see how they cope in these situations. 

The best way to cope is move on. Couples break up for a reason and there's no point on holding on, otherwise they'd be no point in separating in the first place. 
When moving on, I've learnt to never hold grudges - its a waste of energy and delays the process of enjoying life. At first, people would want to know why the split happened, but saying that you weren't right for each other or it just didn't work out makes yourself sound civilized.  No matter how much you want to get the sympathy vote or how much the other half is ruining your reputation. Plus, its much shorter to say than telling the whole story. 

As time moves on, my mother has always advised me to be nice if I bump into a former flame, then they wouldn't have an excuse to be ill-mannered about you to others and it offers a glimpse of maturity by accepting the fact it's over. 

There are many reasons to breaking up such as cheating. This is a massive deal breaker for most as it is pretty unprofessional to go and inflict pain on another. However, this goes back to holding grudges, most couples I've seen that have been cheated on are very young, and most don't understand that some people aren't meant to be. Some were unfortunate to find out that way. When you are that young and have been betrayed, you forget that opportunity of finding love again is there, you delve into the past for suspicious clues, you moan to your friends about how much of a coward he is, or how you refer to his new love as a promiscuous female. I've never been cheated on but these are the signs that I have observed. This is not an indication of moving on. It's unhealthy. 

The results of cheating can be worse afterwards. The culprit can lose respect and therefore, lose their friends. I don't condone cheating at all but wishing death upon the cheat and his new love is a terrible phrase to commit. Never wish someone dead. Stupid thing to say. Mistakes are bound to happen. More frequently when you're young because you're more foolish, but you learn from them. And that is the key point I keep on making, you're still young. 
Relationships aren't always easy, but if your former partner has formed a bond with someone or moved on before you, then it's not worth the effort to defame their name. They're not your issue anymore, and you shouldn't be their problem either. 

It's always best to make the same mistake three or four times before you get it right.

"The Undateables."

This Channel 4 programmes is the most cutest thing I have ever seen! 

The participants seem so sweet and all they want is companionship and love. If you haven't seen it yet, people with disabilities who find it hard to find love, they join up to these dating agencies specialised for them to find them a friend or a potential partner.

However, I don't think they should be limited to others who can't date either or with disabilities, even though they would have similarities in dating principles. 

I've dated a guy who was mildly autistic and I treated him like anyone else and he liked how I didn't treat him any differently. It was a shame others treated him in a negative light when he was at school. It was effort sometimes. His coping strategies made him act as if the condition he had didn't exist but there were little things that showed he was, such as communication. 
Whenever we watched TV and I tried to have a conversation with him, he would be in his own little world and ignore me. Not on purpose of course but it was difficult. It was also hard explaining my perspective to him if I found something wrong. Hmm, perhaps it's a man thing. Not sure. 

My first love and my second boyfriend were quite similar actually. They both have an eidetic memory. Adam* in particular - whenever we went out for the day and we see cars, he would observe a cars number plate for a second and remember it straight away and know what brand car it was. It was very impressive. I don't know whether that's a trait of autism, but he was also very clever. It does make me wonder sometimes. 

Steven* was quite particular too. Usually when people have baked and have done for a long time, they would roughly know how many grams or cups is what and just bung it in. That's what I do anyway. I don't measure things anymore. Guessing is so much more fun. 
However, with my previous boyfriend, he was asked to make a birthday cake for a family friend of mine and we thought great - a nice, homemade cake. But when it came to using written recipes, he couldn't skip a step or roughly judge how much to use, he measure everything out accordingly and followed the steps very carefully. It was painful and long to watch. So many utensils and bowls were needed for this experiment. It didn't benefit my mother - It was more washing to do. It took nearly 2-3 days to finish. It was a beautiful cake in the end though but it took longer than we anticipated, but we waited patiently.

Another aspect I didn't approve of was the programmes name. It's degrading and it denotes such a negative image. It's bad enough that finding love is a struggle, but the name makes them undesirable. 

On the other hand, it gives them great publicity and it creates unity with the nation because they just make you want to go, "Aww." 

FOOOOOD!!

I must admit, this is the oddest blog that I have written so far - But I love food! 

Comfort food is biological. It sends happy signals to the brain. Its probably why I'm always happy. I love food. I can't get enough. They say I eat like a horse. Damn straight I do.

My first word was 'food' in Chinese. I think we were meant to be together. Ha. 
The downfall of loving food is that I always have a big appetite, therefore I end up spending so much in supermarkets. Sometimes, the food doesn't even last two days when it is meant to last a week.

I love food so much. I was brought up in an environment where food is eaten for pleasure and it's healthy too because most Chinese dishes are steamed. 

When I was at home, I came back in the Easter Holidays for three weeks and the house was empty. I saw the light in our fridge for the first time. No joke. There was nothing. Were they trying to starve me?! 

I don't believe in dieting but if people need to diet then do it sensibly. I don't like the idea of losing weight through  starvation. That's not healthy and it's dangerous. I think people can eat what they want, as long as they exercise so that they don't have to worry so much about how much they've consumed. 

I don't watch what I eat most of the time. I probably will get fat one day. I'll be fat and happy. Hehe. My favourite dish is a roast dinner. Made by my mother. I can't get enough of it. I do love British food, especially Southern grub like a good Cornish pasty. Like most of my family members, we've been brought up with steamed fish, roast pork and loads of vegetables that most English families would love to tuck into. But we've gotten fed up and so it's a nice change to experience what other cultures nom on. Like Apple pie. Mmm.

I will teach my children to love food. I won't let them be just subjected to fast food, as tasty as it is, I will cook a mixture of eclectic cuisines inspired from my British-Chinese roots. That's one advantage of being Oriental. 

Our food is made with love. Nom nom nom nom nom.

Daphne And Dr. Crane.

These two beloved characters are from the popular American TV Sitcom "Frasier". I have never watched the show before until I came to university and my boyfriend made me watch it. To my surprise, it's actually quite funny and good.

Daphne Moon is the carer of Martin Crane and the housekeeper of Dr. Frasier Crane. When she first came onto the scene, Dr. Niles Crane (Frasier's brother) develops a crush on her and he keeps this up for SEVEN years.

SEVEN YEARS?!  I think I would've given up. It's a long time.

However, there were reasons as to why it took so long for them to be together.
1) Niles was married to Maris, his wife at the time when he first met Daphne.
2) When they split up in Series 3, they didn't divorce until Series 6! He had still hoped they'd get back together. Maris was very controlling and Niles was very spineless. 
3) Daphne was dating other men.
4) She didn't take an interest in Niles romantically yet until she found out Niles was in love with her.
5) When Niles and Maris did eventually divorce, Daphne was dating Donny and then got engaged to him.

After seven years of Niles sorting out his complicated love life, he needed those years to become a man. He needed to build his confidence and a backbone. Niles and Daphne did get together in the end, but it was on Daphne's wedding day that they realised they were meant for each other. 

I've got to give credit to the man. That's dedication. He is such an awkward character. I think 'shy' is the word. 

I've known boys in Secondary school who have loved their crush since Year 7 and it is only in Year 10/11 that they start dating them. I don't know what delays the process but I can think of a few reasons as to why it doesn't happen:
1) Shyness - Confidence would be the main issue.
2) "She's out of my league." - One of the most common reasons. I don't think there is such thing. It's all in the head. I think they should give it a go, and if they get rejected then move on. No need to dwell on it.
3) They wait until the girl has a crush back - They're waiting on chance.
4) She is taken at the time.

Because of these, men can miss their opportunity and regret not having done anything. 
But I'm going to sneak in a 5th element and its not too late for most of the men: 

5) If you're a good guy - Like the saying, "The good guy never gets the girl."

Well, that seems inaccurate. A girl may like the idea of a bad boy but they crave a good boy. 

It's like they say, watch out for the quiet ones. 

"Hush Little Baby Don't Say A Word. Mummas Gonna Leave You All Alone."

On Saturday 23rd March 2013, a picture of a sleeping baby had recently been circulating around the news because the image show the little newborn left alone in a car, with a piece of note saying: "My mums in doing shopping. Call her if I need anything."

How did I feel? Annoyed, disappointed and disgusted. I'm not a mother yet but I know the basics. Never leave a child, especially a baby on its own. In my perspective, that's a trait of an unfit mother if you are abandoning your child. I can imagine myself being quite protective and worrying sick.

Sources said the mother was 'tired' and she didn't want to wake up her sleeping baby. No excuses. If I was her, I would still take my baby in with me, even it does wake up. What that woman did was illegal too - You're not allowed leave a child on its own if it is under the age of 14 in New Zealand. 

Also in the news recently, MP David Jones expressed that gay marriages wouldn't provide a safe environment for children. Pfft. That's a bunch of bull. I think gay parents are better mothers and fathers than that woman who left her baby unsupervised. What's different? They'd be doing the same role as a straight parent would. Giving the child love, care and a home. 

What was the point of having children if she wasn't going to take full responsibility of her child? 

Any good, minded parent would've either sat in the car with her baby whilst it slept until it wakes up, or gently place the child in the pram and take he/she with her. Even if they do wake up, as a parent, you're meant to calm the baby down. Babies aren't a burden. What if the baby did suddenly wake up in the car all alone? Hungry or needed changing? The people on the outside wouldn't be able to do anything but watch and call the mother. They didn't call the police because they felt sorry for the 'tired' mother. 

If they did, the mother would have either lost the child or be fined a huge amount. It'd be a lesson learnt for her bad decision making. 

So David Jones, what did you mean when you said gay parents wouldn't provide a safe environment for children? Did you mean like abandoning a newborn baby in a car like this straight mother did? I think he should think before he speaks. 

The Looks Book.

Growing up and having to deal with puberty is a difficult thing. Especially if it shows in the form of acne and smelling really bad.

My little sister who is 12, is at the starting line of puberty and she has recently been getting spots on her face which is very normal. I've been through it myself and you learn to not worry about it as spots will go eventually go and it's alright to have them as they are a part of growing up.

Telling her this, she's still worried about her spots, so I ask her why.
She said it's because they're not pretty.
I said well it is part of growing up, you know hormones and stuff. You're bound to go through that stage.
Then she said, "Well no one wants to be ugly do they?"
After hearing that, I said, "Stop worrying about your spots. People get it off more worse than you and it can scar."

She just shrugged.
Pfft. Teenagers.

It disheartened me because looks seem to be her main priority, as well as for many other young girls like her. Although, I remember being that like in Secondary school.

I wasn't the most attractive young lady in Primary and it ran into the beginning of Secondary. I used to be like my baby sister. Get up early, tend to my hair, put a bit of make-up on. I didn't worry about my grades then. Thankfully, my sister does.

My baby sister has always been a very pretty young lady but she's never had to experience what's more important than looks. She hasn't had the chance to go from an ugly duckling to a beautiful swan. And thank god too, it was a long process and a long time before my blossoming came.

When you're not that attractive, you look at other qualities like unique skills you have. Boys are off the agenda since they are very much visual creatures. The only talent I found was that I was good at drawing and can whistle with my throat. That was pretty much it.

My sister's behaviour seems egotistic. She's a pretty girl and she should definitely flaunt it, but not by putting make-up on and wearing mini skirts to school. She's naturally beautiful. Although, I did that but my mother caught me out and I was back into my unsightly manly trousers/ granny skirt. Perhaps she was trying to tell me something back then. I'm all about comfort now and they were quite comfy, despite how horrible looking they were.

In the news recently, there has been an outrage by young children accessing porn, with girls as young as 13 admiring to look like porn stars (for example, "narrow waist, long slim legs and big boobs."). Boys want their girlfriends to look like that. Girls that young will conform to anything that they see. Although, I'm worried about why they are watching porn in the first place at that age. Back in my day, I was playing Nintendogs DS at 13.

No sister of mine is going to look like a porn star. She's going to look like a lady! However, she doesn't speak like one. Innit.

I've learnt that people find you attractive when you become content with yourself because then your happiness flows through.

My baby sister will one day learn what's more important.
She's just about to go through her teenage years. She's only 12 after all. It has been 8 years since I was as young as her and I'm still worrying about whether my hair bun will fall out but I don't spruce myself up as often anymore. Only on nights out and special occassions. It's a nice change to think about your looks once in a while.
When she is older, she can look as hot as she wants, but right now, grades first.

Like a wise man said to me, "You only have one life. But if you do it right, once is enough."

"Suddenly Single" By Sheila O'Flanagan.

The title is self explanatory.

The question however, is who and why.

 

This book uses one woman and her problems to represent what women have to deal with in the 21^st Century. For example, when Alix Flanagan, the leading female character has a high flying job, her own flat and a long term boyfriend, Paul, her life seems so perfect. So when she drops the bombshell that she doesn’t want family with him yet due to her successful job, he drops her from his life.

 

Now she’s suddenly single.

 

I find this interesting because times have changed completely. Back in the 1950’s, men were the breadwinners and the women were the broody housewives. Now, the women are equal in bringing money in as the men are more family orientated.  But now the different sexes have a change of opinion and lifestyle. The modern times woman seems to struggle with weighing out either motherhood or career and only having to pick just one. It seems like women aren’t fortunate enough to have both nowadays. In Alix’s situation, it looks like that Paul wanted to be with a more “traditional” woman because he felt “broody”.

 

Now, I’m not a feminist and think “who needs men” but as a woman myself, we’ve all been socialised when we were all younger to have a job, spouse and children in society otherwise it isn’t considered the “norm”. But this is the 21^st Century now, when people remind us that our biological clock is ticking by making “tick, tick” noises like Alix is by her mother, it puts pressure on women and it limits their career span and I feel that its unfair.

 

Women have choices in life. They don’t need dictatorship, just time to be on their side.

Better Late Than Never.

I wrote a poem about my love and I was meant to upload it on Valentine's Day, but I became unwell that evening and then forgot about it, so here it is:

From the moment we met,
I knew we were meant to be.
Because for the first time in a while,
I could finally see,
That beauty within our love,
Feels just like a dream.

When we spoke in the park,
It was pretty dark.
They say love is blind,
But you are truly a find.
You told me a funny joke,
About a centipede and a bloke.
Although it was bloody long,
We exchanged loving looks throughout, 
And I thought 'Ding Dong'.

When we arrived at the pizza place,
You thought I said something wrong,
So you cheekily corrected me in front of my face,
I saw your challenge but I also was headstrong,
I knew what I said, and gave you a bit of a scold.
You thought I was in denial,
But you also didn't like what you were being told.
We bickered back and forth,
I think we were both being juvenile.
Our friendship became cement,
Through our first argument.

I next saw you at a club party,
You looked so handsome,
While I thought I looked tarty.
I asked to you to come and dance,
And you obliged.
Love gave me another chance,
Which is why we had collide.
When we finally had our first kiss,
There was chemistry between us,
That I couldn't dismiss.

When I came home,
You had been waiting for me.
I called you down not knowing the outcome,
But it turns out it was meant to be.
We sat in the common room,
I could sense your awkwardness,
I didn't want our time together to feel like gloom,
So I decided to show my assertiveness.
You were making me feel uncomfortable,
Even though I knew you were nervous,
I'm fairly approachable,
So there was no need to be self-conscious.
We ended the evening with a good night kiss,
And a hug.
I knew what we had started was bliss,
But was worried about being called a mug.

When we had become an item,
I was having problems with an ex of mine.
He had found out about us then,
But I had hoped that the issue would subside in time.
Things got messy,
And you had to be involved.
Being together had caused controversy,
But as time went on the situation had subdued.

We have been dating for five months now,
Wow, hasn't it flown by?
I can't imagine my life without you somehow,
And I know the reason why.
You make me laugh,
And then you make me cry,
Simply because you're quite daft.
You're protective,
And very smart,
A quality like that is attractive,
Your wittiness hit me like a dart.
You're pretty,
And you're very sweet,
I'm so happy I was given this opportunity.

I know this poem is very cheesy,
But I cannot hide that,
There isn't anywhere else I'd rather be.
Than to be by your side.

Love from BearBear x

Friend Or Foe.

Back at school, I would witness the 'popular' kids being unpleasant to someone and then a nice girl would join their group, and I think, "Why?"

My mother tells me it's called 'Mean Girls Syndrome' - Derived from the American film 'Mean Girls', starring Lindsay Lohan whose character becomes close with the 'Plastics'. No matter how nasty the girls are, everyone still aspires to be them because they're popular and beautiful. They have the power to command.

The sad thing is that I still see it today.

I subvert from that clique group. If someone is mean, I step away. Like I did with my former best friend two years ago. I had been best friends with this girl since Year 7, she had such a bubbly personality, but as the years went by, I began to realise what kind of person she was. I thought we would look out for each other as well as for other people but she only thought about herself.

For example, when a mutual friend of ours developed romantic feelings for a boy in Year 8, this poor girl told my friend this and a day later, my friend was dating this boy. I was confused. I didn't understand why she did it. I guess if somebody else desires something, you'll desire it. I don't think she had any morals internalised at the time.

We then both started dating our first serious boyfriends in Year 10. Me and my friend drifted apart since our priorities were focussed on our relationships. We hadn't spoken properly in months and so when my ex-boyfriend broke it off with me after being together for two and a half years in December 2010, I received a text from her that night telling me to text her if I needed a chat.
I appreciated the sentiment but it wasn't genuine. This side was only awaken because she was being nosy. We hadn't spoken in months and she suddenly came out of the blue when something bad happens to someone else. I didn't reply.

Five months after it happened, I decided I didn't want her to be in my life anymore after I found she was gossiping to everyone in the Sixth Form common room about my sex life. She made me out like I was being promiscuous. I didn't need a person like that who's meant to be a friend but acts more of a stranger and talks about my life like that. It was humiliating. I cut off all contact with her for over a year. She needed to grow up before I wanted to talk to her again.

In August 2012, we started talking again and I had coffee with her. We caught up and we never brought up the reason why we didn't speak, just carried on as normal. I met up with her a few more times before I came to university, and she's still hasn't changed.
When I finished with an ex-boyfriend in September 2012, she sent me a text asking how I was and more pretentiousness. I said my thank you's and that's it. I was hoping to be on the road of recovery with her, hoping she'd be more considerate of her friends and be more aware of them since she doesn't reply to my texts or my best friend's texts. We don't bother anymore. We don't need to be treated like this and we're tired of chasing after her. All we wanted was to meet up for coffee since we know our time is limited due to jobs and assignments, but no luck.

I feel more like a spare part. If you're there, she'll remember you one day but forget about you for the rest.

After all these years, I'm still debating about who my real friends are. Even my mother still doesn't know.

5 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was 16.

My life so far is going to plan. Better than expected in some areas. I didn't realise my life right now would make me as content as I am, despite the rough journey of getting here.

It's been 4 years since I was a naive 16-year-old, but there are some things I wish I knew at that age and here they are:

1) Don't let love take over your life and screw you - From the age of 15 to 19. I have had two long term relationships. Both men who I thought were lovely, had manipulated me and weren't the grown men I thought they were. My life revolved around my first relationship, my former boyfriend was my world and I was in love. The majority of my time back then was spent with him, instead of studying for my GCSEs and picking out the ideal A-Level choices. Then came along my second relationship, I thought I had learnt from my first by not letting relationships take over but I did it again. Big mistake. By this time, I was studying my A-Levels and I pooped my pants every time I got a rejected offer. Again, love conquered all.

2) Study harder -  This is the most cliched saying ever, but it's annoying true and we never learn. During my relationships, I should've studied harder. Harder for my GCSEs and harder for my A-Levels. Perhaps, if I did, I would've gotten a Grade B in Maths and my options would be broader - but I only received a C. I don't think I worked hard enough for that opportunity. However, I had learnt from the millionth mistake and after a year of doing A-Levels at Sixth Form (I stayed for my former boyfriend - BIG mistake), I applied for Exeter College and started fresh. During my two years at college, I studied very hard. One piece of advice I would give to my 16-year-old self - Go straight to Exeter College! Making new friends and teachers was like a breath of fresh air.

3) Be patient -  From 16-19, getting into University seemed like it was light years away but time went quickly. Whenever I didn't receive the grade I needed for certain universities due to tariff points, my heart sank a little. Until it was in the pit of my stomach. I worked at my parents business everyday, as well as studying for my exams just to keep myself busy and I was in Newquay holidaying with the girls when I found out I got into my first choice. I was estatic. The feeling is very rewarding afterwards. Like they say, patience is a virtue.

4) Princesses aren't real. Think about what you want to do in life - This was one of the most hardest thing in life. Teachers, midwife, journalist, mummy. I couldn't pick. I do wish I had the motivation to get work experience at Primary Schools. I wanted to be a teacher since a few people have told me I'm quite good with children. Work experience is key. I was so lazy.

5) How to put make-up on - The essentials of being a girl. I never wore make-up and kept natural. When eyeliner touched my face, I had looked like I had been punched in the face. That was the quote my own mother had used. I did an awful job. Thank god for YouTube, and my mummy.

Even though I wish I had known about these things, I wouldn't change what had happened. I've learnt from my mistakes. These events in life so far that I have experienced were meant to happen, in order for me to be how I am today. If they didn't, I don't know whether I'd be as content as I am. I used to be so insecure about my looks, my body, only a few friends, my grades, but none of that worries me no more. I've moved on.

It's been 4 years... Wow. Hasn't that gone quickly?

"When You're Upset, Just Imagine A T-Rex Making A Bed."

Definition of blog

noun

• a personal website or web page on which an individual records opinions, links to other sites, etc. on a regular basis.

verb (blogs, blogging, blogged)

[no object]

• add new material to or regularly update a blog:it’s about a week since I last blogged
• [with object] write about (an event, situation, topic, etc.) in a blog:

My last piece caused backlash. I send my apologies but I won't take it down. 

People said they wanted a chance to have their say, this was my chance to have mine too. I didn't speak during that meeting. I don't like being put on the spot. I like to absorb what I've seen and think about it. I express myself in writing, people know how quiet and reserved I am. After I posted my blog, I was accused of 'bitching' and it hurt I was told that when I didn't. I didn't mean for it to come across that way.

I've re-read it - it does sound a bit harsh but that's how I felt. My friend told me how she likes my honesty in blogs because she could never be that brave to do it. I wrote down how I saw the situation in my own words. It was my view. Everyone can see this blog which is why I try to be as diplomatic and unbiased as possible. 

If I want to be a journalist, I guess I need negative response to toughen up my skin, but I don't welcome it. No-one does. I understand not everyone is going to like my blog. If I offend anyone then I do say sorry, but I won't take it down if emotional guilt is involved.  

Family members and friends have said it was a brave thing I did putting up the meeting blog. It was risky but I took the chance. I guess that's what you do in life, take chances. This can also relate to my 'Sliding Doors' blog - What if I didn't post that piece? I think my opinions would've been buried with me and I probably would've regretted not saying my part.

I've never complained about anyone. The amount of times I have heard screaming, drunken walk-ins or how bad junk food is - I don't complain. I don't want to. I let them get on with it. That's where my loyalties lie. In the middle. That's why I didn't have a say. It didn't relate back to me. Even if I did say something, I think it would've been batted down or not affected the situation.

I changed for the better ever since someone called me a two-faced bitch in Year 9 and it hurt me deep. I wouldn't dream of going back to the way I was in early secondary. I was so young and stupid to behave that way. My mum brought me up to be good. She's taught me what is unethically and morally wrong. My mother said my blog was fine and I trust my mother. Mothers are the first to slap you down if they think their child is at fault. 

At the end of the day, it was my choice and I accept the consequences. This blog is my responsibility. I want to be a tougher cookie for the future. This is a good learning curve.

So, We Meet Again.

Dear Residents,

Following on going noise incidents and complaints involving this kitchen all residents all required to attend a group kitchen meeting so this can be resolved.

The following issues will be addressed:

• Noise
• Inappropriate complaints i.e. times
• Non kitchen members using the kitchen
• Forms of potential bullying behaviour
• Fire exits being left open

Should you be unable to attend due to study commitments only then please let me know otherwise formal action will be taken.

So guys, remember my blog "Halls From Hell."?

Well, things escalated after I wrote that as we received this email and we all had a meeting with the manager.

This is what it came to. I want to say it was civil between kitchen members but after looking back on it, there were some things said that weren't very nice.

Some people showed their true colours and their intentions. It annoyed me how inconsiderate and selfish they were. I'm a very understanding person, I see both sides but both were as bad as each other.

Witnessing what I did was like when I did Jury Duty back in March 2012. I witnessed a murder case. In front of me, the defendant kept on changing or adding elements to the trial. I kept wondering: Why didn't he say what he just said back then? Why change the storyline now? I thought the same when I heard flatmates agree/deny something or assume a person is at fault.

I don't know who tells the truth anymore. I was disappointed.

We're girls going into our 20s. Perhaps I'm the old sod with the cup of tea but I know what's fun and like I said, I'm very understanding but there's a boundary I think.

I know I said in the previous blog that we're at university and people shouldn't complain but respect is important and people don't learn until it hits them hard.
I don't complain because back at home, I live in a high street, above a takeaway and I come from a loud Chinese family. Noise everywhere! I've probably gone deaf.

The duelling was all about having one-upmanship. I knew better. I kept my lips shut.
The manager said to one of the girls to bite their tongue during situations if they want to say something inappropriate. Another girl asked why the others couldn't just get earplugs and why they couldn't party all night, and she said it in such an uncaring way that it made me annoyed. Yes, we all pay over £4000 to be here, so we should be entitled to fun but the other people should be entitled to sleep. That was one point made during our gathering. We're here at university to learn. The manager told her that what she said was unreasonable and I silenty agreed. It was being inconsiderate. it just upset me how people just change or show what they're truly like. They're not who you thought they were.

My mother taught me to think before I speak and I saw a lack of it during the meeting.
Maybe I've been naive. I see everyone in a good light. Most of these girls have good hearts, I know they don't mean it, but if I sense a bad nut, I'll keep my guard up.

They're young afterall, but I think this meeting did no good. It was all talk, no action. Once action is made, then hopefully they'll learn. Like a light smack on a toddlers bottom to teach it a lesson. These girls can't keep behaving the way they do.

I've already seen a murder case, I don't want to see another bloody meeting.

Sliding Doors.

Ever imagine what your life would be like if you picked the other option?
I do. It makes you think about whether you've made the right decision in life.

Love is one factor to consider.

I've got the inspiration to write this blog when I watched the film ' Sliding Doors', where the film shows two parallel universes of Gwyneth Paltrow's character: One where she misses her train by a second and the other where she catches her train on time.
We follow both versions on whether her catching the train makes an impact in her life.

It did, of course. When she caught her train, she met John Hannah's character on the tube, she arrived home to her boyfriend having sex with another woman in bed, broke up with him, changed her hair colour from brown to blonde, met that tube guy again, had sex, got pregnant with him but got hit by a car and died in hospital, losing her baby.

In the other version where she had missed her train, so she tries to hail a taxi, gets robbed and injured. When home, she didn't catch her boyfriend cheating, he had finished having sex with the mistress, they carry on as normal, the other woman comes round now and again, then towards the end, we find out that Gwyneth Paltrow and the mistress get pregnant by the same man and then she finds out he's been cheating. She runs away from her boyfriend and falls down the stairs, ending up in hospital and loses her baby but alive. We also see John Hannah's character in the same hospital visiting his sick mother and walks past Gwyneth Paltrow's character.

This film influenced the American TV show "Frasier" where it showed an episode of the character Frasier deciding whether to wear a suit jacket or a jumper to a date and it shows simple things like that can make a difference.

However, both the film and the comedy show ended with the same outcome. Its just the journey of getting to the other end that makes it difficult. I've learnt from experience that when you think you've made the right decision in life, it can lead to bad consequences. Maybe thats a hint from life that you've done the wrong thing.

Like love. Love is very unpredictable, but if two people are meant to be, then they'll collide. No matter what universe they're in.

It's scary how little things we do can make a huge impact, perhaps costing us opportunities which is quite sad. Love doesn't have an undo button like a game if we screw it up. We have to start again sometimes from scratch with our remaining lives. Sometimes we get a second chance. Sometimes we're not meant to have a second chance and therefore have to live with our mistake never knowing what might've happened.

But some people don't learn from their mistakes because they've never witnessed it from anothers point of view. For example, my mum told me that when a mother makes a mistake as a young woman, if she has a daughter then she must inform her child of these mistakes so that she wouldn't be repeating history. Otherwise it'd become a cycle.

Another example is my 42-year-old father. In his 20s, after my mother and biological father divorced, they got back together and he received a job offer in advertising, near London. He asked my mother whether she would wait for him if he got this job and she said no because of me. She had a child to look after (in Devon) and so, not wanting to risk losing my mother again, he stayed in town and helped run the takeaway with her, and he still does now.
I asked him before I went to university, whether he could go into advertising now if he had the chance and he replied by saying it was too late for him. From that, I asked if he regretted working in the takeaway, he said yes, but he doesn't regret staying with my mother. My dad stayed for love, but it cost him.

That is one decision I know I definitely was sure about. University. I wanted to experience the world. More social circles. To broaden my career choices.
But what if I didn't go? Would I still be working at the takeaway everyday? Would I be at college for another two years? Would I still be with Steven? My life came to a halt until four months ago and I'm very gracious to my family who pushed me to be where I am now.
. 
Thankyou.

What Beats Horse Meat?

Recently in the news, Tescos have been found using horse meat in ready meals and it has caused a furore nationally.

Personally, it doesn't bother me. I'm Chinese so i've tried most things (e.g. chicken feet, sea cucumber - a fish that looks like a worm in the ocean, deer, shark, you name it), i'm quite open to trying new things. A Chinese persons motto to food is 'if it has four legs, then it is edible.'

If I have eaten a bit of horse, well, I can't do anything about it now, its long gone now. The French have been eating it for years since the war so it seems reasonable edible.

However, one animal I will not eat is dogs. I don't follow everything my people spit out. Dogs are cute. A friend once asked me when we were both 16 whether I eat dogs, she assumed that because I was Chinese and therefore made a generalisation. I told her I was really offended. I thought she knew me better. My friend back then was a bit of a 'maneater', it was like me asking her if she ate men for breakfast because she had a 'big' appetite for the male species. I can imagine her reaction would be offended. I never forgave her.

People have probably found worse than horses in their food, for example, pubic hair, nails, bugs, that brain found in a KFC meal, a rat baked in that bread which was ALSO by Tesco.

This horse meat situation really affects the younger generation because they love animals and wouldn't imagine eating a horse that they rode last year. It'd be a horror story to them.

On the other hand, it could be worse. It could be human flesh. How would we react? Would we be cannibals if we found that contaminated meal rather tasty without knowing what was inside it? I don't want to be around when that story happens. It'd be a horror story to my stomach.

Halls From Hell.

Ok, I know the title is a bit extreme but in some peoples situations, it can be like that for them living here.

I live in a hallway and a kitchen full of 10 other girls. All lovely and want to do well at university. I live on the 4th floor which is the top of the building and one advantage of living here is how quiet it can be. Other floors such as floor 2 are loud and that can be a nuisance to other students who want the peace and quiet that we have.

However, when there is "some" noise, people complain. Perhaps it's because they're not used to the new background sound that has befallen them. Extreme I know but lately, people have gotten complaints, warnings, meetings and it's just getting ridiculous and out of hand.

WE'RE AT UNIVERSITY FOR HEAVENS SAKE!

I had an encounter with noise coming from my flatmates once. It was near the beginning of being in So'ton, roughly about 4 days in. They came back and put their music on loud. At the time, I only went out once nightclubbing (which was 2nd night I was here) and didn't want to go out again until Fresher's properly started.
Reasons were due to saving my money and to build up my anticipation for Freshers Fornight. Anyway, I came out to tell them to turn the music down a tiny bit. They obliged and I went back to sleep.

However, the next morning, I found out that two of my flatmates heard I came out and complained that I was 'always sleeping' and 'never go out'. Luckily, the other flatmate supported me by saying that I deserved respect by turning the noise down. I've been thankful for her ever since. It's a shame they didn't know my reasons for not coming out.

I've also never made another complaint or come out to tell them off when they go out, only because I told my mother about it the next day and she told me it was a bad idea, otherwise they'll think i'm a party pooper all the time and told me to buy earplugs.
When Freshers did start, I was buzzing for it, whilst some were pooped out already from 5 days of partying. Silly billys.

I've never minded or complained about the noise since but others have and it's affecting everyone.

It makes me sad that some people have made complaints, even about people who weren't here to make the noise! Someone even thought I made a complaint when I did sod all.
I'm quite an understanding person. Everyone is still 18/19, they're enjoying the experience of being young, because when they're 40 and staggering in execessively drunk, er, it will probably a bit unacceptable by then.

On the other hand, for the people who complain, I see it from their perspective. They've got lectures the next morning, a job to go to, or get fed up that the noise carries on until 7am.

But both teams need to take into consideration that students either just want to have fun or just sleep, but hinting to other flatmates that they should leave the hallway isn't acceptable. Its not nice.

My boyfriend said to me, "You're in a kitchen with 11 big personalities. Of course it's going to clash." He's very observant. He acts like my second pair of glasses and he was right.

I'm in a hallway full of opinions. Someone was going to disagree with someone else at some point. I've found out some of their true nature is to cause problems and disagree. Thats just being nasty.

I moved away from that ever since Year 9, when an ex of mine called me a two-faced-bitch. It hurt so bad and affected me. So I changed for the better. And I like it. I only say something if I have a good reason to. I don't say it willy-nilly. Negative things people say and do shows and it takes its toll on their faces.

I like to see people in a good light, but if I get a bad vibe from them, I'll keep my guard up.

My First Semester.

My first semester has included many other firsts. 

My first week in Southampton. My first lesson. My first assignment. But no sign of a 1st in my grade just yet. It wasn't my first time panicking about deadlines either. I should be considered an expert in that area and I have never learnt from my first mistake. 

University makes you grow up. Being in Southampton makes you grow up even more. You're away from home. Mother isn't there to cook for you anymore and the only person that will do that for you is the kettle. Pot noodles are gold. Instant meals are essential. My sleep is the most important activity in my life. My bed has become my best friend. 

Other elements of being a university student has also made me see life in a different light. You don't take anything for granted anymore. Family becomes so high up in priorities that its ranking goes into the minus numbers. Before university, I wanted independence. Badly. But when you've been away from family for a quarter of the year, you miss them and its certain aspects of them that you thoroughly miss.

For example, I still see my 12-year-old sister as the little cherub when I first saw her, but now, since I'm away from her, I don't get to see her grow up. Every time I go home, she gets taller and taller. Creeping an inch up every time. I'm tempted to wear heels around the house, while she trotts around bare-footed, accessorised with a smug smile. It's not fair. I'm only little. Other people know this as well. In my halls, for the first time in my life, I got called 'short'. I correct them and say 'I am petite'. It sounds cuter and I won't sound like a midget if I get called the 'S' word. 

Oh yeah, I rant a bit more now. More things to rant about in a big city. Especially about people calling me short. 

V is for Valentine's Day. Not Vom.

I Love St. Valentine's Day.

Hearts everywhere. Everyone being mushy. Chick flicks on TV. It really is a special day.
I'm not being biased by the way. I've always been like this, whether I was single or taken.
I love the atmosphere. I'm in awe of loved up couples. I feel happy for them.

However, it is also a day where people get emotionally depressed and become quite negative. I've heard some girls say that whenever they see a couple in love, it makes them want to be sick.

Ok, when I first heard that, I thought how silly. They want to projectile actual vomit in public when they see a couple? Ew. I know it is a phrase that people use to express their disgust but they are like the Scrooge of Valentine's Day.

I don't know if this is whether they are unhappily single or hate romance but it is a special day for everyone. It will even warm up the coldest of hearts.

For 16 years of my life, I never got a Valentine's Day card or had a secret admirer. I was a young girl who was single with no cards to show. I didn't mind. I got excited when other girls received heart shaped cards in class. Perhaps I'm a hopeless romantic. I knew I was still young, so I wasn't worried about not being loved on just one day.

I never had a date either. I didn't mind. I wasn't the prettiest of things when I was younger so I didn't expect anything from boys.

However, the problem with Valentine's Day is that once a boy or a girl gives a card to whoever they like. What happens next? Are they hoping their crush guesses who sent it and prays for their love in return? It is the waiting game.

If you like someone, then tell them. Don't wait for the 14th February to land on your doorstep. I know rejection is on the cards but at least you can say you gave it a go and move on with the next person, instead of sending cards once a year to the same person for the next 10 years, wondering whether you'll be an item. Get balls. YOLO.

On the other hand, I'll give them credit for keeping the effort up for 10 years if that happens.

If you're still as grumpy as a cat on V. Day, don't fret.

Single? There is someone out there for you. But don't sit there, waiting for someone to like you. You have to make the effort if you want the best catch in the sea.

Not so single? Well, not much I can say. It is expensive! Spending so, so much. Restaurant prices are extortionate. Gifts are overpriced. Cards are getting bigger each year. Oh dear. 

Pay attention boys and girls, crying is the new vomming.

Time To Say Goodbye?

I found out some sad news.

My friend Amy said she was thinking of moving universities closer to home for second year.

I felt very sad. Me and Louise* were really looking forward to living with her next year since all three of us have been together since halls in 2012.

She explained to us that it was a money issue. That she wanted to keep her job at home. Didn't want to spend money on acccomodations. She didn't want to keep spending money on train tickets back home. She missed her family. She said she didn't want to live in Southampton anymore.

At first, I thought this was Preston's doing - Making her move back home so he control her. It didn't sound like her. I thought she loved her uni life. But she has changed since coming back. She was happy to be in a house with us before Christmas. I don't think this is Preston's work here. I think this is Amy. But then I think, why go home most of the time when it is expensive? Why go on holiday later this year? Why live in the other end of the country? It gets too confusing.

She said her options were either go back home or live in halls. She already inquested the university about transferring without letting us know and we already booked to view a 5 bedroom house.

I'm worried for her. I'm worried she's doing this for a boy. I'm worried she'll end up alone. I'm worried she'll regret this in 10 years time. She would be leaving her life here and her friends behind. Her friends at home have all gone to university.

Her boyfriend doesn't visit her in Southampton anymore since his inappropriate behaviour last time. If this is due to him, we have reassured her that he is welcome to come down when we move into our new house. We'll all be polite. Otherwise if he's unwelcome, then she'll feel unwelcome. We don't want that.

I hope he makes her happy this time. I hope she stays. We'll all miss her so much if she goes. We'll always be there for her.