Some things, I've learnt are worth fighting for. The love I've witnessed wasn't. I learnt it was doomed from the start.
Since university in September 2012, I met my dear friend Amy* who was dating a guy she adored, named Preston*. Whenever she spoke about him, she mentioned how much she loved him and from the outside, she was happy. They'd been dating for 2 months.
However, as the weeks went by, I found out some disturbing elements of their relationship. Amy has always spoke of Preston in a positive manner. How he can drive. How he loves her back. But as the barriers came down, she talked about how his previous girlfriend was too afraid to break up with him. Of course, we ask why. Turns out that he was very possessive and manipulative. Not at all the perfect boyfriend we expected. And he had not changed one bit.
During the 3 months that I have known her, he would ring her up, having a go at her for going out and having fun. His jealousy was off the scale but he insisted that he didn't trust other men. His jealousy was natural since they were 4 hours apart, but a 25-year-old stalking his girlfriend. Checking who she's with. Trying to catch her out.
He would make her cry. She would drink alcohol. He would make her cry again. She would drink more alcohol.
She would hide photos that he wouldn't approve - in case he got 'angry'. I didn't like the sound of it. He had a temper, and when he did release it, he would call my friend obscenities. Awful things I do not wish to repeat.
He saw his irrational behaviour as normal. She did as well.
We begged her to break it off, but like the previous girlfriend, she too became scared.
Her relationship was like a house. When a house has a water leakage, it floods the floors and the owner has to clean up the mess. Like Amy has to but she can't turn the source off and so it begins to be a cycle. Mould appears, a sign that its becoming unhealthy to live like this. Like the damage that was brought on by Preston that affected Amy. Her heart didn't deserve this. Eventually, there is too much mess to clear up. The structure of the house weakens and collapses. No way to rebuild it. The foundation of a relationship is trust, and there was no co-operation from his side to begin with. No foundation, no house. No security. He had been homeless until he met Amy. He took the happiness out of her home.
She relied on the alcohol as her base. But the problem with that is, it's a fluid. A fluid that is unpredictable. It can go this way, or that way. With catastrophic consequences.
It was heartbreaking for me. As well as for all for everyone witnessing. Parents want the best for their children but cannot interfere with their childrens mistakes. They know their children have to learn from them. For them to open their eyes.
Luckily, when the alcohol was gone, the empty bottle was her vision. The glasses to make her see sense. So she ended it. And drank more to console herself. Don't worry, she's not an alcoholic. Just upset.
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