Growing Up In An Asian Family.

Growing up with Asians is quite something. It's a love/hate thing going on. They're family after all but if you want to survive, here are some heads up.

If you're not Asian, this will be an insight.

• Make sure you don't go deaf. Asians may be small, but never underestimate the size of their lungs.

• When you think they're shouting, they're actually speaking on normal volume.

• You will definitely get the "doctor/lawyer" talk. 

• Obey your mother. You do not want to release the angry Asian mother.

• If you don't, you will get disciplined aka The Slipper

• Family will slag you off. 

• Family will insult you in front of your face. Good thing is, it makes you build a thicker skin. Why you so fat? Why you so skinny? Why you so stupid? Why you so ugly?

• Don't have a pencil sharpener? Grandma will use a knife cut away at the ends.

• You will eat rice with EVERYTHING.

• Your family will arrange for you to meet a "potential" partner.

• If you don't have kids or aren't married, you still receive red packets (money).

• Beware when explaining to your family that you want to date someone out of your race e.g. white/black

• You will never get a birthday party until you graduate university. 

• Everyone will get the bowl cut experience.

• Forced to listen to Chinese opera music.

• Forced to watch Cantonese TV drama.

• Forced to watch every cooking show. 

• But you'll love their game shows.

• Made to work in your parent's takeaway as soon as you pop out of the womb.

• You will know every single dish off the takeaway menu in Chinese.

• Learn to use the chopsticks, otherwise you dishonour your cow.

• If you're a girl, you're not a allowed a boyfriend until you get into university.

• Don't want to the typical Asian look? Avoid: fanny packs, white trainers, the peace sign  pose, glasses, carrying a bag of fruit - just never leave the house.

• The home phone will never stop ringing.

• You will have to give your grandparents or any elder in the house back massages. When I say massages, I mean they like punches to the back. Helps them somehow...

• Constant noise of family clearing their throat. Not pleasant.

• DURIAN!!! THAT IS ALL!!!

• Their love is cold, hard love.

• Never walk around the house with shoes on. You will get slapped.

Have any experiences that I haven't mentioned? Comment below!

Stop Judging My Food.

I grew up with a Chinese background and like any other Asian, we have eaten some weird stuff. Some taste good. Others..NOPE! But I'm a BBC (British Born Chinese), so growing up as a Chinese person in a Western culture - it makes people question what you eat. 

I have been at university for three years now. Finished. And during my time, I have encountered many people looking displeased over my meal. It wouldn't be anything strange either - sometimes a bowl of ramen noodles. 

But so many have judged and said unnecessary comments before I had even started eating my food. BITCH DON'T DISTURB MY ME TIME. All I wanted to do was eat in peace and enjoy my foods. Why was it so hard to ask? Why did people have to open their mouths and think they were being useful by pointing out something moot?

People will judge food on its look and smell, but will never try it. How do they know it's not goddamn tasty? 

"Ermaagherd, like, ew. I knoooow it's nasty. It looks like a bag of worms."

Well then. More for me. 

It's their loss. If they're like this over food, imagine someone else's culture. Are they not going to accept that too? Heck, food is culture. 

They can't keep being close-minded, otherwise they won't experience anything new. OR ANYTHING AT ALL. 

They can't go to a new country and start insulting their food and culture. They'll get more than they bargained in their "chicken burger".  

Some need to have respect for other people and think before they speak. 

Stop ruining my meal. It's my food, not yours.