Things People Say To Me Because I'm Chinese: Part One.

I forget sometimes that I'm Chinese because I have other things on my mind, which is why it's lovely to have people point it a lot *sarcasm*. Here are some classics I have encountered throughout my 22 years. Some are hilarious, others you think 'WTF?'

#1 
Friend: What's Szechuan Chicken?

Me: Um, I don't know.

Friend: But you own a takeaway?

Me: We don't sell it there.

Friend: Oh, you're useless then.

Me: .....

#2
Me: To be honest, I'm not that good at Maths.

Friend: But you're Chinese?

#3
Friend: Urgh, why are you dipping toast in hot chocolate?

Me: Because it's tasty.

Friend: Is that a Chinese thing you do?

Me: No, it's French. 

#4
Me: (Finished talking on the phone to my family in Chinese/Hakka)

Friend: Were you speaking in Chinese?

Me: Yes.

Friend: Oh, thought it didn't sound like English. What were you saying like ching-chong wah chong?

Me: .....(That's not how Chinese sounds)

#5
Random person: Are you related to Jackie Chan?

#6
Friend: Why are your eyes so big?

#7
Random person I just met: Also, I know a bit of Tai Chi and Kung Fu.

Me: Um, I don't do that, sorry. (Again, not related to Jackie Chan).

#8
Friend: ISOBEL! You're Chinese!

Me: (Very observant)

#9 
Vietnamese girl: Hi, where are you from?

Me: Devon.

VG: No, I mean originally.

Me: Well my grandparents are from Hong Kong.

VG: Oh, cool. I have friends from Hong Kong. 

Me: Oh, that's nice.

We stop talking.

#10
Friend: No offence but those ramen noodles don't look nice, which is why I don't fancy Chinese men either.

Me: Um, I'm a bit confused, how does the food and men link together??

#11
Me: So I ordered steak with Diane sauce but I didn't realise it had mushrooms in it.

Friend: You don't like mushrooms?

Me: No.

Friend: But you're Chinese? You're supposed to like mushrooms? I thought that was the stereotype that Chinese people like mushrooms?

Me: (First time I've ever heard of that one).

#12
Friend: What does this say?

Me: (Looks at Chinese character they're pointing at). Don't know. I can't read Chinese.

Friend: Oh. How are you even properly Chinese?

#13 
(Dad comes back with sausage and chips takeaway through the shop)

Customer: You guys eat sausage and chips?! I thought you only eat Chinese food because you're Chinese?

Me: (Well what about you? You're English and you're about to eat Chinese food).

#14
Person: Can you teach me some Chinese?

#15
Jehovah Witness: (Starts speaking to me in Mandarin).

Me: Sorry I don't speak Mandarin.

JW: (Carries on speaking in Mandarin).

Me:......

#16
And then there's the boyfriend.

Boyfriend: I was in town earlier and saw a black guy and a white girl holding hands, and I thought "You don't see many interracial relationships around here" and then I remembered that I was in one.

Me: *Face Palm*

At the end of the day, you can't take these comments seriously. Some of them you have to laugh at because of how ridiculous they are. 

People don't think before they speak, or they expect you to know everything from your culture. It does test you sometimes because you can't believe what you had just heard. It's usually the same comments and they mean no harm. 

I've had this for most of my life and so have my family members. You just think they're either curious or just plain dumb. 

PS friends who say these - I know they mean no malice, it's curiosity. Plus, these comments make really good content.

PART TWO WILL BE SOON. 

What Defines Us Is How Well We Rise After Falling

I follow a YouTube channel called JK News, a news style channel where they express their opinions over articles sent by subscribers and I consider myself a fan. I have watched all of their videos and agree with what they have to say.

In the new video, however, "Bully Asks Girl He Once Tormented On Date But Gets Rejected", I felt really disappointed. In this story, it was about a female university student who was bullied for three years by this boy back in Year 8. Now 22, she got asked out by the boy over Facebook. It said her first instinct was to say "no" but due to what he did to her, she decided to accept the date and stand him up and leave him a picture of her 13-year-old self and a note saying if he remembered her and what he did affected her. Basically scolding him and making him feel bad.

JK News response? One member kept calling her a "loser", "unevolved" and "immature" and that everyone gets picked on. Yes, it's true, everybody gets picked on during their life but this girl was bullied for THREE years. That's some serious picking. Why were they justifying his actions? Yes, he was in school when he did it but bullies never consider how the victims feel. It lead to the girl developing an eating disorder because he kept calling her fat. 

I had to check the comment section underneath and of course, there was a hoard of people expressing their disgust at what that one member said. It was mainly by the people who have been bullied before and it was really insightful in what they had to say. Bullying can affect people in so many ways and it depends on how they handle it. 

I thought JK News would be more open minded than this since they probably got bullied too when they were younger and yet, they're making bullying seem like a side issue and making the girl seem like she was in the wrong. They were even laughing about it. I don't understand. They said that she shouldn't hold a grudge for that long and plan that "revenge" and "to get over it". The part I agree on is the revenge and grudge bit, but I wouldn't call it revenge. That boy, between the ages of 13-16, made her feel like utter shit. He would've been old enough to know what he was doing by 16. 

That note she wrote to him was a way of validating herself. Her self worth was probably quite low and now that he wanted to date her, she is now worthy of his "kinder" side. It was all about looks for him. What a shitbag. Kids can be absolutely horrible if another child is "fat" or "ugly" but what children don't know is that looks fade and some take longer to become a beauty and it seems like she has blossomed into a swan. Also, I don't think she planned to set revenge on this guy for 10 years, it seems like seeing him brought up bad memories and she just wanted closure and an apology. 

However, children that young don't understand what they're doing. They don't think about the consequences. It was also possible that he was in a group of friends when he did bully her, so he would have that pack mentality. Still, the parents should teach them not to bully too. I do agree that people can change over the years and become a better person, but it doesn't stop the victim from feeling bitter from what they had experienced. 

"To get over it", like I said, many would handle it in a different way, but getting over it isn't simple. Many suffer from psychological trauma from it, causing a lot of issues later on in life. 

This story hit me because a similar experience happened to me. It felt quite real. I was racially bullied when I was primary school, along with being called ugly many times. Of course, I felt pretty low and thought there was something wrong with me. I still remember the people who did it today. Seriously, no matter how old you are, you will always remember the people who made part of your life shit. So if i was in that girl's shoes, I would have turned him down flat. Too much effort on planning to stand him up. 

However, I actually applaud the girl for standing up to him. He does not deserve her time. 

Here is the video. It is the first story.

Dear Ex-Best Friend...

I will have to try and get my memory working because I cannot remember who my best friends were back then. It's been a long time since having a best friend and a lot of people have left my life so remembering is difficult, but here are some of the reasons that may have happened.

1) We drifted apart
So common when one of us either go to a different college, university, a new circle of friends or we can't be bothered anymore. With me going to university and you guys behind and getting a full-time job, it was inevitable.

2) You are a bitch
There is a reason why I cut you out of my life. I don't need this crap in my life. All negativity and it's very much high school mentality. I'm not getting any younger and I don't want to be dealing with it. 

3) I was a bitch
I'm no saint either. I will happily admit that. Reasons for being a bitch? I guess I was young and naive, and if everybody around you is having a bitch-fest, you'll be persuaded to join in. But I've learnt my lesson since school. If anything now, for the people who know me really well, I'm a funny bitch. BETCH. 

4) The boyfriend or girlfriend
It was probably your first time having a serious partner, and so you spent all of your time with them. I don't blame you. I was in that situation before too. It's a new experience and you'd want to soak it up as much as possible, but that means leaving your friends behind too. I guess this can be part of 'drifting apart'. It's also not great being the third wheel either. 

5) More than friends
Having feelings for your best friend is a tricky one. I think there has been plenty of times where I have had feelings for my male best friend but he didn't feel the same, or he liked me but I didn't. And then of course, you have to distance yourself for things not to get weird, but things do get weird because you're not talking. AAAH! Complicated.

6) You had a new best friend
That moment of feeling abandoned for another friend is a pretty shit feeling. Everyone who had a best friend has experienced the "Who is this bitch taking my bestest friend in the whole world away from me?" But then you realise your best friend doesn't see you as her most closest anymore and it's a really sad moment in time. You get left out and you don't know what to do, but you move on with new friends. I felt down when that happened, only because of all those years spent together was thrown away. 

7) We let each other down
When something has happened or we're at a different stage in life, we weren't there for each other. A sad confession I'd like to make is that when I don't want to be your friend anymore, I don't actually fully tell you - I ignore you or say politey why we shouldn't be friends until you get the point. It is the shittiest way to do it, which is why naturally drifting apart makes things easier. I don't like confrontations and I think ending a friendship can be as hard as ending a romantic relationship. 

However, if it is about someone who has turned nasty, I feel they don't deserve my explanation. They should know within themselves why the friendship has ended, unless they think they're a saint. Then they're delusional. 

I think my list can go on and on. And you know the saying "Boyfriends Come And Go But Friends Are Forever"? Not true. One can easily go as much as the other. 

You know what is definitely forever? Family. 

Vlogging Time

So I have just started video blogging which is a scary step because I don't feel I belong in front of the camera but I thought I'd give it a try. It's going okay at the moment. Editing is really fun, but it means I have been ignoring this blog for a while now so hopefully I can balance the two. 

I've recently uploaded Heads Up, Do I Want A Baby Now, Heads Up Bloopers, No Mirror Make Up Challenge and Making Friends (this one hasn't gone up yet) so a few already. I have barely any subscribers so starting out very fresh. 

Heads Up and Heads Up Bloopers
Me and Peter just recorded ourselves playing Ellen Degeneres' game and it's quite an enjoyable game. Obviously you need to know your topics well but it's funnier when you don't. 

Do I Want A Baby Now?
For this one, I basically explained why I don't want a baby at the moment, with examples such as my mother having me young and don't want to repeat history, I love my food and sleep too much to have a child and so on, so nothing controversial really from a view of a 21-year-old. I was worried that some of my pregnant friends (if they ever watched it) were going to take offence but I haven't had any hate so far.... I don't know whether that's a good or a bad thing. 

Anyway, if they did watch it, it was nothing to do with them to be honest, no one in particular. THERE'S SO MANY MOTHERS IN SOUTHAMPTON! I am merely observing my surroundings in my everyday life and saying why I don't want a baby. Simples. 

No Mirror Make Up Challenge
This is where I turn into a clown. I've seen beauty bloggers try this and it looked really fun. So I have no mirror in front of me and I need to try and put make up on. It was really hard. I didn't know where my eyes where. Something similar to this like 'Boyfriend Does My Make Up' will come up in the future.

Making Friends
I haven't uploaded this one up yet, mainly because I don't know how I feel about it still. Of course I have friends in my life but no one really that I'm close to or someone I can have for life, that's what I'm trying to say. It's sort of a sad one, but it's the truth I guess.  

More to come!

Dear Crush...

Would be awkward wouldn't it if this wasn't dedicated to my beau.

So darling, this one is for you.

When I first met you, I had only just broken up with my previous boyfriend the night before so falling for you was very unexpected.

I started fancying you because, well, you were my type. Looks wise. I remember when I first started seeing you, a girl I knew said to me, "Couldn't you have gone for someone more attractive?" I was shocked by that comment because in my eyes, you were and are a good looking man to me. You have the "geeky" look that I go for and you are a lovely human being, so that silly bitch is missing out.

Some girls go for rugged, muscley or a Hollister model but for me, it has always been nerds. They're smart and awkwardly cute, and that's a couple of things I love about you, but I know you hate me saying that you look like a geek. Don't know why, you should class it as good thing, if you didn't look like that, I wouldn't be here today in your arms.

Getting-to-know-you wise, I realised you were something special. I felt a strong connection with you and even though it's been two years, I still feel it now. You are a lovely person, I don't know how I ended up with someone so wonderful because I get so grumpy and snappy at you, but you are ever so patient with me. You laugh off my grumpiness, cwtch me until I'm better and you call me beautiful every single day. I've never felt so loved.

But you can be annoying. SO ANNOYING! But I really love you. Like a lot, so I guess I can put up with it.

To be honest, I don't know how to express how much you mean to me. This letter would not cover everything, but I can say that you are my best friend and my lover all in one package, even though I said in the last letter I didn't have any best friends, this is different. However, one thing I don't like is that you know me too well - only because I don't even know myself sometimes! But I feel we have the same sort of values and way of thinking, which is why I can kind of read you.

Yet again, this can't justify how you have affected me. YOU MAKE MEH SO HAPPEEEEE!

All the love from, Baby Bear x

Dear Best Friend...

This is going to be a sad confession, but I don't think I have a best friend. I have a couple of close friends, but best? I don't know. It's been such a long time since I've had one and since friendships come and go, I don't know what qualifies one.

Of course in school I had plenty of best friends which is a normal part of growing. Anyone you got on with was classified as your best friend but during those 5 years, you start to figure out who your friends are. And even after that? Well, I actually still don't know who my friends are. Going to college and university definitely helped narrowed it down but I feel for the better.

So, to the close friends that I do have, thank you for staying in my life.

I don't feel I have many friends today but I don't think it's also healthy to have about 20 people some class as their "best friend", so I'm glad I'm not in that kind of situation.

Sorry this is a short letter, but I don't have much to say about the topic. To be honest, I'm not fussed about having a best friend, I'm happy with family and just friends for now.

Love Isobel.

P.S Peter, you don't count. Nor do you mum.

Dear Ex No.2...

In the last letter I wrote, I did it for my first boyfriend. You were my second boyfriend, but not my second love. 

I don't know how I'm going to feel about writing this one. I feel as though you might have been the rebound. I still loved my first love for at least four months on after him and I broke up, and then you came along and made me feel warm again inside. I was so heartbroken and I needed mending. It was wrong to use you to heal my heart, but at the same time, it worked. However, time being with myself would have worked better.

I tried so hard to fall in love with you but in the end, my heart had always belonged to someone else. You were a good boyfriend - loving, caring and always sweet to my family but you had your own baggage too. You had issues that I couldn't handle as your girlfriend and it made me realise that I wasn't ready to be in another relationship.

Your autism didn't bother me though. Let's get that straight. I treated you like anybody else and you didn't even act like you had the condition. What bothered me was your insecurity and jealousy. It pushed me away. 

Keeping you as just a friend would have been the best option. For both of us. To be honest, we were in it for the sex.

There was also speculation saying I cheated on you with my current partner now. I didn't. We broke up and I met the new one the next day. I don't condone cheating.

You became difficult after we broke up, even though we said we would stay friends, but I should've known that it wasn't going to work. I left some of my belongings at your house before university because you got upset that I was going to take it away, with the prospect of us potentially breaking up so, I left it there. Big mistake. You wouldn't give it back. I asked for it back politely and arranged for my mother to pick it up for me since I was in Southampton and wouldn't be home for three months, but you didn't want my mother near your house at all. You said that I either sent money for packaging or came to collect it myself and then, it's the thing afterwards you said which made my shiver "but we both know which one you're going to choose". I was shocked and it struck a bit of fear in me because you were becoming quite scary.

 

After that, had no choice but to contact your father. Your father is a good man and one of the loveliest people I have met. Luckily, he convinced you to hand over my bag but that meant coming to my house. 

I remember phoning my mother up afterwards to see if you handed over my things and what happened. She said when the doorbell rang, she opened the door to you and felt frightened as soon as she saw you. Your body language was stiff and rigid. Your eyes bloodshot and aimed at my mother. She said it looked like you were going to kill her. I remember her saying that she stood right in the doorway to block you, in case you tried to come in. I didn't mean to put my mother in that position where she was scared. It should've been me dealing with you but she wanted to protect me. 



To be honest looking back, it wasn't all smooth sailing trying to part from you. You wanted to mutually break up at New Years which was your version of "a new start"  but none of it made sense. If I wanted to be happy then, why wait another 3 months? And why at New Years? Breaking up when I said and did would still be classed as a fresh start and you knew Christmas/New Years was a sensitive time then due to the previous boyfriend breaking up with me around that time. 

So do you know what I figured out? It was because it wasn't on your own terms. The last time you were in a relationship, you broke up with the poor girl and had me lined up as back up - and then we dated. I noticed since you didn't have a back up already in case we broke up, you wanted to wait until New Years which would give you three months to find a new girl. As much as you said you loved me, you couldn't stand the idea of being alone. Yes I went into another relationship straight away but that's because I did it for love. You would've done it purely because you were scared. Nothing was going the way you planned and you thought you could control that aspect in your life. Emotionally, you were unstable. You needed to love yourself before you started loving someone else because those fears and insecurities would pile on the other person and the strength to hold you up any longer would break. 



And that's what kinda happened. We broke. Our relationship broke, and so did our friendship. 



You said I was cold but I saw myself as emotionally okay and independent. I promised myself that I would never revolve my world around a boyfriend again because I lost my focus last time and my main priority was and still is education, but it seems that it never happened with you because I guess I never fell in love. I just loved you a dear amount. 



After everything that happened, I am sorry I caused you a lot of pain for dating so soon. I remember that was one of your biggest fears, that one day someone would make no effort to woo me and I would just be head over heels like that, whereas you had to make the effort to get into my heart. I tried not to fall for someone so quickly because of the pain I knew it would cause you, but the thing is, I fell in love. I couldn't stop how I felt and I realised that you have to be with people for the right reasons. 

Of course I still cared about you after our relationship ended because I first gained you as a friend but it was never going to be the same afterwards. We both should've handled the situation better but we're exs by the end of the day. 

I hope you achieve what you want in life and wish you all the best. Take care.

Love Isobel.