What Defines Us Is How Well We Rise After Falling

I follow a YouTube channel called JK News, a news style channel where they express their opinions over articles sent by subscribers and I consider myself a fan. I have watched all of their videos and agree with what they have to say.

In the new video, however, "Bully Asks Girl He Once Tormented On Date But Gets Rejected", I felt really disappointed. In this story, it was about a female university student who was bullied for three years by this boy back in Year 8. Now 22, she got asked out by the boy over Facebook. It said her first instinct was to say "no" but due to what he did to her, she decided to accept the date and stand him up and leave him a picture of her 13-year-old self and a note saying if he remembered her and what he did affected her. Basically scolding him and making him feel bad.

JK News response? One member kept calling her a "loser", "unevolved" and "immature" and that everyone gets picked on. Yes, it's true, everybody gets picked on during their life but this girl was bullied for THREE years. That's some serious picking. Why were they justifying his actions? Yes, he was in school when he did it but bullies never consider how the victims feel. It lead to the girl developing an eating disorder because he kept calling her fat. 

I had to check the comment section underneath and of course, there was a hoard of people expressing their disgust at what that one member said. It was mainly by the people who have been bullied before and it was really insightful in what they had to say. Bullying can affect people in so many ways and it depends on how they handle it. 

I thought JK News would be more open minded than this since they probably got bullied too when they were younger and yet, they're making bullying seem like a side issue and making the girl seem like she was in the wrong. They were even laughing about it. I don't understand. They said that she shouldn't hold a grudge for that long and plan that "revenge" and "to get over it". The part I agree on is the revenge and grudge bit, but I wouldn't call it revenge. That boy, between the ages of 13-16, made her feel like utter shit. He would've been old enough to know what he was doing by 16. 

That note she wrote to him was a way of validating herself. Her self worth was probably quite low and now that he wanted to date her, she is now worthy of his "kinder" side. It was all about looks for him. What a shitbag. Kids can be absolutely horrible if another child is "fat" or "ugly" but what children don't know is that looks fade and some take longer to become a beauty and it seems like she has blossomed into a swan. Also, I don't think she planned to set revenge on this guy for 10 years, it seems like seeing him brought up bad memories and she just wanted closure and an apology. 

However, children that young don't understand what they're doing. They don't think about the consequences. It was also possible that he was in a group of friends when he did bully her, so he would have that pack mentality. Still, the parents should teach them not to bully too. I do agree that people can change over the years and become a better person, but it doesn't stop the victim from feeling bitter from what they had experienced. 

"To get over it", like I said, many would handle it in a different way, but getting over it isn't simple. Many suffer from psychological trauma from it, causing a lot of issues later on in life. 

This story hit me because a similar experience happened to me. It felt quite real. I was racially bullied when I was primary school, along with being called ugly many times. Of course, I felt pretty low and thought there was something wrong with me. I still remember the people who did it today. Seriously, no matter how old you are, you will always remember the people who made part of your life shit. So if i was in that girl's shoes, I would have turned him down flat. Too much effort on planning to stand him up. 

However, I actually applaud the girl for standing up to him. He does not deserve her time. 

Here is the video. It is the first story.

Dear Ex-Best Friend...

I will have to try and get my memory working because I cannot remember who my best friends were back then. It's been a long time since having a best friend and a lot of people have left my life so remembering is difficult, but here are some of the reasons that may have happened.

1) We drifted apart
So common when one of us either go to a different college, university, a new circle of friends or we can't be bothered anymore. With me going to university and you guys behind and getting a full-time job, it was inevitable.

2) You are a bitch
There is a reason why I cut you out of my life. I don't need this crap in my life. All negativity and it's very much high school mentality. I'm not getting any younger and I don't want to be dealing with it. 

3) I was a bitch
I'm no saint either. I will happily admit that. Reasons for being a bitch? I guess I was young and naive, and if everybody around you is having a bitch-fest, you'll be persuaded to join in. But I've learnt my lesson since school. If anything now, for the people who know me really well, I'm a funny bitch. BETCH. 

4) The boyfriend or girlfriend
It was probably your first time having a serious partner, and so you spent all of your time with them. I don't blame you. I was in that situation before too. It's a new experience and you'd want to soak it up as much as possible, but that means leaving your friends behind too. I guess this can be part of 'drifting apart'. It's also not great being the third wheel either. 

5) More than friends
Having feelings for your best friend is a tricky one. I think there has been plenty of times where I have had feelings for my male best friend but he didn't feel the same, or he liked me but I didn't. And then of course, you have to distance yourself for things not to get weird, but things do get weird because you're not talking. AAAH! Complicated.

6) You had a new best friend
That moment of feeling abandoned for another friend is a pretty shit feeling. Everyone who had a best friend has experienced the "Who is this bitch taking my bestest friend in the whole world away from me?" But then you realise your best friend doesn't see you as her most closest anymore and it's a really sad moment in time. You get left out and you don't know what to do, but you move on with new friends. I felt down when that happened, only because of all those years spent together was thrown away. 

7) We let each other down
When something has happened or we're at a different stage in life, we weren't there for each other. A sad confession I'd like to make is that when I don't want to be your friend anymore, I don't actually fully tell you - I ignore you or say politey why we shouldn't be friends until you get the point. It is the shittiest way to do it, which is why naturally drifting apart makes things easier. I don't like confrontations and I think ending a friendship can be as hard as ending a romantic relationship. 

However, if it is about someone who has turned nasty, I feel they don't deserve my explanation. They should know within themselves why the friendship has ended, unless they think they're a saint. Then they're delusional. 

I think my list can go on and on. And you know the saying "Boyfriends Come And Go But Friends Are Forever"? Not true. One can easily go as much as the other. 

You know what is definitely forever? Family. 

Dear Ex No.1...

I don’t know where to begin. I guess at ‘Hi'. This will be one of the most difficult letters to write. Probably because you are my first love and will always have a spot in my heart.

I don’t know what happened with us. I don’t see our past relationship as a failed one. We were very young and fell in love. It was my first time falling in love and it was quite an adventure. Our two and a half years together was very special. Of course like any couple, we had our ups and downs but I don’t regret our time with each other. 

When I first saw you, I thought you were lovely and tall. And then we started talking to each other and meeting up and I thought your blue eyes were the most beautiful things I had ever seen. The only reason we ever got together was because our friend and I’m very grateful she helped us along the way. 

You made me laugh, feel butterflies, happiness and just pure love. I knew it was serious when we took our relationship to the next level. I don't feel regret.

You made me overcome my fear of dogs when I had to confront your 3 big dogs at your house. I was crapping myself. They were jumping and being excited and my fear was getting jumped on again. But they were lovely. Kinda. Still crapping myself after meeting them. 

Meeting your parents was scary too. First time meeting the boyfriend’s parents but they were very welcoming and lovely. Like you. You were always lovely to me, especially your hand drawn cards you created for my birthdays, Valentine’s and anniversaries. 

But something felt different nearer to the end of our relationship.

I don’t know what it was but it didn’t feel the same. You weren’t the man I fell in love anymore. You were drifting away from me. But I still held on. When it came to breaking up, I realised afterwards that you were the one who broke it off with me. At first, I thought it was mutual, but the realisation hit hard. I experienced my first ever heartbreak. It sucked. And then you got a girlfriend afterwards, the sucking got worse. 

The attempt to move on was difficult. Our relationship came to a halt. You were moving on before I could even grasp that we had even broken up. But by then, you could do what you wanted, you weren’t mine anymore.

It’s been nearly 4 years since we ended. Time’s flown. We’re probably quite different people now compared to our 15-year-old selves. Seeing you recently has made me miss the friendship and the good times that we had. But I also remember the bad, which stops me from thinking any further. 

There were so many things I wished for during and after our relationship and what could've been different, but that's all in the past now. I guess we were never meant to be and I've accepted that. 

You were a good boyfriend and I'm glad you were mine once. I wish you the best of luck in the future. Take care.

All the love from, Isobel x

Things That Happen On Trains.

I travel on trains frequently and when a situation occurs, my mind goes into overload and think things that you wouldn't say in public. Funny things, obviously.

WARNING: May contain swearing, judging, hunger, impatience, lots of exclamation marks and capitalisation.

Enjoy.

#1 WHEN YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND THE MAN OVER THE TANNOY
Man: Welcome aboard the South West train service to London Waterloo. There has been a slight delay due to a gidnfbhjvdnsasdkjfnadjfbnvajsdfbnvjdafnb.

Mind: Eh? What did he say? WHAT'S DA DELAY?

Man: ...Thank you for your patience.

Mind: OI GET BACK HERE! I DIDN'T HEAR WHAT YOU SAID!

Mind: GURL, this better not make me miss breakfast hour at McDonalds. 

#2 WHEN A SMELLY PERSON SITS NEXT TO YOU
Man: Can I sit here please?

Mind: NOPE.

Mouth: Of course.

Mind: Dammit, why are we British too polite?!

Mind: Oh god, he stinks.

Mind: Is my perfume on me? (Rummages through bag, item not found)... NOOOOO!

Mind: Oh my god, am I gonna die? Is this how I die? Suffocation of bad odour?

Mind: The windows aren't open. I'm gonna kill somebody.

Mind: Hold. Your. Breath.

Mind: Why don't they provide oxygen masks on trains like they do on planes? THIS IS AN EMERGENCY SITUATION!

Mind: Is he moving?

Mind: OMG it's his stop!

Mind: But he's left his smell behind.

Mind: NOOOOOO!

#3 WHEN SOMEONE SITS NEXT TO YOU AND FALLS ASLEEP TRAPPING YOU IN
Mind: Aww aren't they cute sleeping?

Mind: Wait, they're sleeping?

Mind: No, no, no don't fall asleep!

Mind: Are they asleep?

Mind: Knew I should've sat on the outside.

Mind: Shall I tap them? Is it rude to wake them up?

Mind: OMGMYSTOPISNEXTOMGMYSTOPISNEXTOMGMYSTOPISNEXT

Mind: Well, that's final then. I'm off to Scotland. 

#4 CARRYING LOTS OF BAGS AFTER SHOPPING AND TRYING TO FIND A SEAT
Mind: Wow, it's busy today.

Mind: Oh god there's so many people.

Mind: Right, easy does it Isobel.

Victim #1: Ow!

Mouth: SORRY!

Mind: Oh god I just hit an old granny! I hope that didn't hurt too much.

(LIFTS BAGS HIGHER)

Victim #2: Oh Jesus! (Moves out of the way)

Mind: Eeek eek sorry, sorry, sorry! Why did I decide to go shopping today?!

(A FOOD TROLLEY COMES ALONG)

Mind: What the fuck, well bitch I ain't moving.

(A FEW SECONDS LATER)

Mind: Ok, I'll move. 

#5 NO SEATS/ROOM ON TRAIN SO RESORTED TO STANDING OUTSIDE THE TOILET
Mind: Jeez, I hope no one needs the toilet, they can hold it in right?

Mind: Nope, someone's going in, someone must hate me right now.

(STANDS OUT OF THE WAY, PERSON GOES IN)

(10 MINUTES PASS)

Mind: They've been in there for a while. They better not be doing a shit.

(HEARS THE TOILET FLUSH)

Mind: Oh god hold your breath.

(PERSON COMES OUT LOOKING EMBARRASSED AND WADDLES AWAY)

Mind: They didn't close the door!

Mind: Oh god, I held my breath too early I NEED TO BREATHE

(I LET GO AND STARTING BREATHING)

Mind: OH MY FUCKING GOD IT STINKS! And I can't move on this sardine train!

(SHUTS THE TOILET DOOR, A FEW SECONDS LATER ANOTHER PERSON WALKS IN)

Mind: Yup, someone is really hating on me right now.

#6 WHEN PASSENGERS STARE AT YOU
Mind: Eh? Is that person looking at me?

Mind: Oh dear lord they're looking.

Mind: Do I have something on my face? (Looks at phone quickly) Nope nothing.

Mind: Maybe it's something next to me? (Looks out the window) Nope, just trees.

Mind: Oh dear they're still looking.

Mind: So rude to stare...they can't be British

Mind: Do I stare back? Is this some sort of war going on that I'm not aware of?

Mind: This is a serious case of being a weirdo.

Mind: Fuck it, let's glare back. 

Mind: Nope, they haven't budged.

Mind: Maaaaaan, I must be fine looking today (Looks at phone again) Nope that's not it.

Mind: Ok they're still staring. Right that's it. I'm going to say something.

(TRAIN STOPS AND PERSON GETS OFF AT DESTINATION)

Mind: Ok, maybe not.

#7 OVERHEARING A GIRL FLIRTING WITH A BOY
Mind: Mate, this is cringey. 

Mind: What is she wearing?

Mind: She's only 16? Don't think she should be wearing a skirt that short.

Mind: Bloke seems alright, reciprocating back to her.

Mind: Oh my god, was that her laugh? Was that her flirty laugh?

Mind: Oh my god, was I like this at 16?

Mind: Jeez, I hope not.

Mind: Oh hang on wait...yeah I think I was.

Mind: Wow, that's embarrassing looking back.

Mind: You what mate? You're into weird shit? Should you be telling a guy this? Should I be listening to this anymore?

Mind: Fuck it, I've got another 10 minutes on this train.

#8 DISLIKE OF USING TRAIN TOILETS
Mind: Oh dear, I really need the toilet...

Mind: Dammit body, why do you want to do a number two at this very moment?! WHY NOT AT HOME?

Mind: Breathe, breathe. It's alright, only an hour on the train.

Mind: But can I really hold it in that long?

Mind: This. Is. Uncomfortable.

Mind: Shall I go to the toilets on the train?

Mind: Hmm, I could go...

Mind: Oh god, what if the train leaves without me?

Mind: Nope. Not going.

#9 WHEN OVERHEARING A TEENS CONVERSATION
Mind: Oh? What are they talking about? 

Mind: Fifty Shades? Whipping? Canes?

Mind: Oh bless, they think they know what they're talking about.

Mind: Jeez, why are they so loud? I'm sure the old lady near them doesn't want to hear about butt plugs.

Mind: Or does she? HAHAHAHA.

Mind: Blimey, why are there so many of them? 

Mind: Why is that girl trying to sound older by talking about sex out loud?

Mind: She's annoying.

Mind: Stop talking, please. You've probably never touched a willy in your life. 

Mind: Oh dear god, the whole carriage is going to know about what you get up to within these 20 minutes.

Mind: Do you know what? Why don't you ask the ticket man whether you can speak over the tannoy, it wouldn't make a difference at the volume you're speaking at. 

Mind: Man, I sound grumpy. Am I on my period this week?

Mind: Nope. I'm just hungry. Get me off this train. 

#10 SEEING A COUPLE SHOWING PDA
(COUPLE SITS IN TWO SEATER NEAR ME)

Mind: Aww they seem cute.

Mind: Lalalalalalalalalalala....oh looking they're kissing.

(LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW)

Mind: Oh dear, this seems awkward.

(LOOKS BACK)

Mind: Oh wow, they're really going for it and they've only been on the train for a minute.

Mind: Wonder where they are going?

Mind: Shit man, it's like they haven't seen each other in a while.

Mind: Oh my god, why am I looking? QUICK LOOK AT PHONE!

Mind: Do they know I'm here?  

Mind: Oh my...

Mind: I hope I'm not part of some voyeurism shit.

Mind: ....Are they still kissing?

Mind: Well. Yup. That's what my eyes see. He's groping her boob. Nope. Boobs. Plural. 

Mind: Maybe he was trying to grab her face and it accidentally slipped. I DON'T KNOW IT COULD HAPPEN! I WASN'T WATCHING.

Mind: Eeeek, they're making noises. 

(LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW AGAIN)

Mind: Yup, this is what I'm gonna have to do for the rest of the journey.

Mind: Hmm, I wonder what I shall have for lunch.

(GOES THROUGH TUNNEL)

Mind: Oh god the windows have gone black. OMG I can see them in the reflection.

Mind: I CAN'T ESCAPE THEM!

Mind: When this is over, I'm going blog about this shit. 

My Teenage Years Vs My Little Sisters

There is 8 years difference between me and sister. Only 8 years but you wouldn't be able to tell - she's the same height as me. She's 13 at the moment (turning 14 in August) and since she's now classed as a teen, I've realised that she won't be having the same experiences that I had gone through. Here's a few:

• MSN - This messenger was our life! The one thing that stood out was the emoticons that replaced every single word. Such an effort to read.

• Internet - Today, we have WiFi. Back then, we had this cable shit where we had to share this singular wire that would only provide internet for one computer at a time. Tough times. 

• Flip phones - Actually, forget the flip phones, I remember the BRICKS. Thick ass phones that resembled a shoe. And then flip phones came into fashion and I loved them. You drop your flip phone? Only the outside is scratched. You drop your iPhone? Everything is broke. Loooong gone. 

• MP3 and CD players - I loved my little MP3 - None of that error shit I get with my iPhone when I want to put music on. A bugger carrying portable CD players though. And carrying the actual CD too. That's why mother's bags are so big - they be carrying all those Cee-Deeees. 

• Limewire - This was the software where you would download free music illegally. I could download anything from it. Whereas now with iTunes if I wanted a song, it's harder now due to availability. Limewire made things accessible.

• 90s - This ranges from music (like Britney, Backstreet Boys, Celine Dion ballads, Aqua) to fashion (like Jelly shoes). Hairstyles count too.

• Bebo - Started in 2005, this became THE social media site to be on. Like Facebook, but quirkier. The skins were amazing. Made all of mine on Paint. So hard. 

• Racism - Witnessing my sister going to Primary and now Secondary school, I think the racism has toned down and much better than when I was at school. I loathed Primary school. I didn't like going - I had to face daily racism from stupid people - ranged from people not sitting next to me to boys mimicking karate moves in front of me. All because of my race. It was sad. I never told my mother. They made me feel ashamed that I was Chinese. I know now that I should have told my mother - I was only under 11 when these things happened. I shouldn't have fought it alone. So when my sister went to Primary, I was very wary and felt over-protective of her because of what I went through. I still am. Only last year she had a couple of boys racially abuse her and of course, we stepped in. 

• Innocence - I've heard various stories that girls this young have had intercourse, doing drugs and smoking - You what mate? At 13, I played with Tamagotchis and collected Pokemon cards. They want to grow up too fast. 

• Chalkboards - Messy as fuck. Makes you look like you've been raiding the crack cupboard when the chalk powder goes all over the place.

There's probably more that I have missed out but these are the things that stood out for me. It's just weird how times change. And my little baby is growing up so fast. Waaa.