Being A Teenager Was Hard.

When I think of a 'teenager', I think of my sister. She's the typical stereotype: stroppy, anti-social in family gatherings, selfie obsessed, "whatever" - the list can go on.

I was definitely this kind of teen.

Being a teenager - you think your life is over. FOREVER! I HATE YOU! Yeah, that era. 

You are landed with so many expectations - be popular, get good grades, look amazing, have loads of friends, have every social networking platform on game as well as your eyebrows. It's a wonder how they ever sleep at night.

Seriously though, everything needs to be spot on. 

My sister is going through the phase of being "mean" and trying to look older. Jail bait. I really hated that phase because I look back now and realise how stupid I looked.

It feels like bitchy/mean girls run the world from the ages of 12-16. After that, you realise they ain't shit. You are. They don't run your life. You do. Sure they can call you ugly or fat or whatever they think is "cool", they're nasty at the end of the day. 

With trying to look older, who are you trying to impress? When I was younger, I was trying to impress guys. My parents said that I was "mature", but no one has fun being mature. I'm the opposite now. It's hilarious seeing my sister trying to act 18 when in reality, she's only just come out of the womb. 

It also seems like as a teen that looks are E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

If you are a teenager, then please - stay looking young as long as possible. Time flies and you'll look back realising how much time you wasted trying to be "cool" or putting menial things at the top of your list. 

Another tip I will give is listen to your parents. GOD I KNOW! SUCH A CHORE! But your parents were teens once (duh!) and they will want to give you as much wisdom as possible. They may shout at you but they do it out of love (and also because you're being a right fucking pain in the bum). 

This can be one of the greatest times of your life but can also be the worst. You'll be okay though if you have the right people around. 

Good luck!

Teenagers.

ENLIGHTMENT: 

I WROTE THIS WHEN I WAS ANNOYED IN 2014 BUT STILL APPLIES TO ALL TEENAGERS. 

Teenagers. Are. Horrible.

Was I horrible as a teen? Probably. 

Their attitude, the way they walk, the way they talk to people, the apparent "unfairness" about things in life, the constant wasting of food like money appears in thin air - no sense of value in money. 

Is it the parents fault? Or the older sibling's duty to make sure they don't end up like this? 
Or are they programmed to be like this?

You warn them about strangers, staying out late, friends and "older" boys but they brush you off like a piece of dirt under their newly bought AirMaxs. And then the inevitable happens? You burst out crying about a situation that we warned you about? No. Had enough. The only way you will learn is to experience it.

Having a 13-year-old sister is hard. Really hard. 

We tell her not to wear make-up because it clogs up your skin and makes your skin shit in the future. 
But you never listen.
Now you have what I like to call 'make-up spots' - where a cluster of bumps gather on your skin (mainly on forehead and cheeks) due to the amount of crap your face has to deal with. And the only way to hide those spots is with more make-up. A nasty cycle. 

We tell her not to wear skimpy clothes and high heels because she is 13 and therefore it would be inappropriate for her to be looked at.
She says she forgets she's really young and thinks she's 16. But no, you are not.
You are what we class as 'jailbait'.
I feel sorry for the man who will look at you thinking you are 18, when in fact you are way below the legal age - and then he will feel dirty and get backlash for looking at you, even though this information was not presented to him. But I will still stare him down - it's protective instincts. 
You are not 18 yet. Get a grip.

We tell her to help out around the house. Her face drops. It's like we have asked her to do the most cruelest job around. Why? We all had to do jobs in order to get pocket money. She gets annoyed when we shout as if she's done nothing wrong. Don't pull a strop young lady - we're only asking for your help. 

We tell her not to drop her new phone. She drops it without care. It previously belonged to my dad, no scratches. She has it, covered in it. She drops it like she has a new phone on the way. No, you don't. I don't know whether this is our fault, we spoil her and now she doesn't know how precious money is. Teenagers know they have to earn what they want but they want it given at the same time.

We warn her about so-called friends she has, saying that they can be bitches and are not what they seem. She ignores us. Insisting that she knows them very well and that they wouldn't do that. Are you sure? You have two generations telling you what we know from experience and yet you brush us off like we don't know anything? Mate, open your eyes. We can foresee the future.

We warn her not to do something, but then you do it. We take your phone away, your internet and ground you from going out. You feel like we're taking your life away. We're not. It's discipline. You're only 13. Your life doesn't stop at 13. 

We tell you that you are beautiful the way you are and that you should be proud of your heritage. 
But you always keep wishing for things.

Wishing you were American.
Wishing you had an American accent.
Wishing you were taller.
Wishing you were thinner.
Wishing you were older. 
Wishing you had nicer teeth.
Wishing you were more Asian.
Wishing you could speak Korean.
Wishing you were Korean.

How do you think that affects us? Are you not proud of being Chinese? Don't you think Chinese is a beautiful language too? For God's sake, you're only 13! Some of things you wish for will fall into place as you grow, but all I hear is moan, moan, moan. Is life that unfair to you right now? Things teenagers wish for can be shallow. 

I feel frustrated and fed up all the time with her behaviour.

Our grandfather came to England to earn money and to provide a better life for his family. 
He worked very hard. He opened up the takeaway in 1975 and it has been our life since. We have worked here to build up a work ethic and money to get out of this sort of business. Do you want to work at the takeaway forever? The answer is no. Don't take things for granted. 

This doesn't just apply to my sister. This will apply to all teenagers.

Parents and relatives will teach teenagers morals and life lessons, for them to get the automatic, "Whatever". Teenagers will go through similar situations like the ones I have given up until they are 18/19, which is when they either go to university or get a job. The realisation will hit them that their family have been only protecting and guiding them through life, even though it may seem like constant nagging. 

I love my sister dearly. Even though there is an eight year age gap, I treat her like my best friend. 
She asks a question, I tell her the truth. No sugar coating. 
She wishes for things? I reassure her that her time will come or that she should be proud of how she is. But that reassurance is never enough to make them feel content at that age because it doesn't seem believable. 

Being 18 seems like light-years away but it will come like tomorrow. 

What Defines Us Is How Well We Rise After Falling

I follow a YouTube channel called JK News, a news style channel where they express their opinions over articles sent by subscribers and I consider myself a fan. I have watched all of their videos and agree with what they have to say.

In the new video, however, "Bully Asks Girl He Once Tormented On Date But Gets Rejected", I felt really disappointed. In this story, it was about a female university student who was bullied for three years by this boy back in Year 8. Now 22, she got asked out by the boy over Facebook. It said her first instinct was to say "no" but due to what he did to her, she decided to accept the date and stand him up and leave him a picture of her 13-year-old self and a note saying if he remembered her and what he did affected her. Basically scolding him and making him feel bad.

JK News response? One member kept calling her a "loser", "unevolved" and "immature" and that everyone gets picked on. Yes, it's true, everybody gets picked on during their life but this girl was bullied for THREE years. That's some serious picking. Why were they justifying his actions? Yes, he was in school when he did it but bullies never consider how the victims feel. It lead to the girl developing an eating disorder because he kept calling her fat. 

I had to check the comment section underneath and of course, there was a hoard of people expressing their disgust at what that one member said. It was mainly by the people who have been bullied before and it was really insightful in what they had to say. Bullying can affect people in so many ways and it depends on how they handle it. 

I thought JK News would be more open minded than this since they probably got bullied too when they were younger and yet, they're making bullying seem like a side issue and making the girl seem like she was in the wrong. They were even laughing about it. I don't understand. They said that she shouldn't hold a grudge for that long and plan that "revenge" and "to get over it". The part I agree on is the revenge and grudge bit, but I wouldn't call it revenge. That boy, between the ages of 13-16, made her feel like utter shit. He would've been old enough to know what he was doing by 16. 

That note she wrote to him was a way of validating herself. Her self worth was probably quite low and now that he wanted to date her, she is now worthy of his "kinder" side. It was all about looks for him. What a shitbag. Kids can be absolutely horrible if another child is "fat" or "ugly" but what children don't know is that looks fade and some take longer to become a beauty and it seems like she has blossomed into a swan. Also, I don't think she planned to set revenge on this guy for 10 years, it seems like seeing him brought up bad memories and she just wanted closure and an apology. 

However, children that young don't understand what they're doing. They don't think about the consequences. It was also possible that he was in a group of friends when he did bully her, so he would have that pack mentality. Still, the parents should teach them not to bully too. I do agree that people can change over the years and become a better person, but it doesn't stop the victim from feeling bitter from what they had experienced. 

"To get over it", like I said, many would handle it in a different way, but getting over it isn't simple. Many suffer from psychological trauma from it, causing a lot of issues later on in life. 

This story hit me because a similar experience happened to me. It felt quite real. I was racially bullied when I was primary school, along with being called ugly many times. Of course, I felt pretty low and thought there was something wrong with me. I still remember the people who did it today. Seriously, no matter how old you are, you will always remember the people who made part of your life shit. So if i was in that girl's shoes, I would have turned him down flat. Too much effort on planning to stand him up. 

However, I actually applaud the girl for standing up to him. He does not deserve her time. 

Here is the video. It is the first story.

Dear Ex No.1...

I don’t know where to begin. I guess at ‘Hi'. This will be one of the most difficult letters to write. Probably because you are my first love and will always have a spot in my heart.

I don’t know what happened with us. I don’t see our past relationship as a failed one. We were very young and fell in love. It was my first time falling in love and it was quite an adventure. Our two and a half years together was very special. Of course like any couple, we had our ups and downs but I don’t regret our time with each other. 

When I first saw you, I thought you were lovely and tall. And then we started talking to each other and meeting up and I thought your blue eyes were the most beautiful things I had ever seen. The only reason we ever got together was because our friend and I’m very grateful she helped us along the way. 

You made me laugh, feel butterflies, happiness and just pure love. I knew it was serious when we took our relationship to the next level. I don't feel regret.

You made me overcome my fear of dogs when I had to confront your 3 big dogs at your house. I was crapping myself. They were jumping and being excited and my fear was getting jumped on again. But they were lovely. Kinda. Still crapping myself after meeting them. 

Meeting your parents was scary too. First time meeting the boyfriend’s parents but they were very welcoming and lovely. Like you. You were always lovely to me, especially your hand drawn cards you created for my birthdays, Valentine’s and anniversaries. 

But something felt different nearer to the end of our relationship.

I don’t know what it was but it didn’t feel the same. You weren’t the man I fell in love anymore. You were drifting away from me. But I still held on. When it came to breaking up, I realised afterwards that you were the one who broke it off with me. At first, I thought it was mutual, but the realisation hit hard. I experienced my first ever heartbreak. It sucked. And then you got a girlfriend afterwards, the sucking got worse. 

The attempt to move on was difficult. Our relationship came to a halt. You were moving on before I could even grasp that we had even broken up. But by then, you could do what you wanted, you weren’t mine anymore.

It’s been nearly 4 years since we ended. Time’s flown. We’re probably quite different people now compared to our 15-year-old selves. Seeing you recently has made me miss the friendship and the good times that we had. But I also remember the bad, which stops me from thinking any further. 

There were so many things I wished for during and after our relationship and what could've been different, but that's all in the past now. I guess we were never meant to be and I've accepted that. 

You were a good boyfriend and I'm glad you were mine once. I wish you the best of luck in the future. Take care.

All the love from, Isobel x

My Teenage Years Vs My Little Sisters

There is 8 years difference between me and sister. Only 8 years but you wouldn't be able to tell - she's the same height as me. She's 13 at the moment (turning 14 in August) and since she's now classed as a teen, I've realised that she won't be having the same experiences that I had gone through. Here's a few:

• MSN - This messenger was our life! The one thing that stood out was the emoticons that replaced every single word. Such an effort to read.

• Internet - Today, we have WiFi. Back then, we had this cable shit where we had to share this singular wire that would only provide internet for one computer at a time. Tough times. 

• Flip phones - Actually, forget the flip phones, I remember the BRICKS. Thick ass phones that resembled a shoe. And then flip phones came into fashion and I loved them. You drop your flip phone? Only the outside is scratched. You drop your iPhone? Everything is broke. Loooong gone. 

• MP3 and CD players - I loved my little MP3 - None of that error shit I get with my iPhone when I want to put music on. A bugger carrying portable CD players though. And carrying the actual CD too. That's why mother's bags are so big - they be carrying all those Cee-Deeees. 

• Limewire - This was the software where you would download free music illegally. I could download anything from it. Whereas now with iTunes if I wanted a song, it's harder now due to availability. Limewire made things accessible.

• 90s - This ranges from music (like Britney, Backstreet Boys, Celine Dion ballads, Aqua) to fashion (like Jelly shoes). Hairstyles count too.

• Bebo - Started in 2005, this became THE social media site to be on. Like Facebook, but quirkier. The skins were amazing. Made all of mine on Paint. So hard. 

• Racism - Witnessing my sister going to Primary and now Secondary school, I think the racism has toned down and much better than when I was at school. I loathed Primary school. I didn't like going - I had to face daily racism from stupid people - ranged from people not sitting next to me to boys mimicking karate moves in front of me. All because of my race. It was sad. I never told my mother. They made me feel ashamed that I was Chinese. I know now that I should have told my mother - I was only under 11 when these things happened. I shouldn't have fought it alone. So when my sister went to Primary, I was very wary and felt over-protective of her because of what I went through. I still am. Only last year she had a couple of boys racially abuse her and of course, we stepped in. 

• Innocence - I've heard various stories that girls this young have had intercourse, doing drugs and smoking - You what mate? At 13, I played with Tamagotchis and collected Pokemon cards. They want to grow up too fast. 

• Chalkboards - Messy as fuck. Makes you look like you've been raiding the crack cupboard when the chalk powder goes all over the place.

There's probably more that I have missed out but these are the things that stood out for me. It's just weird how times change. And my little baby is growing up so fast. Waaa.