Dear Diary: The One With The Back Pain.

So for about a week now, I have had really bad lower back pain. Like, awful. To the point where I can't bend, put on my socks, my knickers properly or sit like a human being. 

I had back pain last year. Doctor said I apparently slipped a disc or tore a liagament. Still not sure because when I told the nurses at Minor Injuries, they said I would need an ultra scan to see if that was true or it had happened again. Oh yeah, went to MIU on Saturday 19th Sept because my back was that bad. I thought my back was getting better because I could bend enough to put up something halfway but that morning - my god. Usually I would roll out of bed if my back is bad and then sit up. Rolling to my side hurt me a lot and then sitting put pressure on my lower back which killed. Then I tried standing up but I fell to the ground. My back felt like it was going to collapse. I sat on my knees on the floor for about 15 minutes. I tried to pull myself up on the bed but it was too painful. 

Oh forgot to say, I did my back in while I was cleaning and trying to lift up rice. Massive rice cooker pot and yeah, ended it for me. Cyal8er, posture. 

Anyway, that day I was in charge of roast dinner while my parents went out so it was me, Phoebe, my great aunt and cousin. After trying to get up to go down wasn't easy. I couldn't even wipe my butt after the toilet. I started crying, not just because of the pain but because I felt so useless. After that, trying to put my clothes on was hard. I burst out crying again, phoned Phoebe and she helped me get dressed. 

Got down to the kitchen, got roast cooking and I was not good. My cousin told me at midday to go to the hospital with my great aunt. I was too stubborn to go. I waited until after dinner. I had lost my appetite for the past few days. Tasha (employee and friend) came for dinner with us and I asked her to take me to the MIU and she gladly took me and waited with me. Really appreciate her for doing that. I don't like asking favours but I wouldn't have been able to walk up.

Saw the nurses and they gave me some painkillers to help control the pain. Tried to sit on the bed - no luck, I cried. They sent me across the hall to see Devon doctors. We waited at the hospital for a good 2 hrs. Due to lack of staff, MIU closed at 6pm so we were the last patients to see. I stood up for that time because hurting would have made me stiff. He waddled over to the room and he touched my spine and back. He asked Tasha to touch my back and she said one side was hard as a brick and the other was soft as a pillow. Asked him why and he said one side was compensating for the other. He told me I have severe muscle spasm, so I wonder if I had the same last year but then again, my grandmother said she pushed something in last year when she was massaging it. 

He's given me some codeine and also laxatives because apparently the meds make you bunged up so that's nice. 

TODAY: 21st Sept - I was expecting my back to kill like it has been most mornings but I stood up fine. I have no idea what Saturday was about. I still have to move about because I get stiff easily and I can't sit for too long. I've been taking the codeine but I don't feel it kick in until much later. It just feels more like nerve damage which is why I thought it was sciatica again like last year but who knows. 

Can you imagine my back when I'm pregnant? Jeez. 

Dear Diary: The One Where Peter Visited

Peter visited me a couple of weeks ago for more than a week. I really did miss him a lot. I was looking forward to his presence. I even cleaned the bathroom before he came. Actually, I clean the bathroom anyway but I did it a day before he came so I could make a good impression...with my bathroom. I've just realised he wouldn't care anyway.

I met him at the station. First thing I said to him when he got off the train was, "Goddamn you need a haircut!". It had really grown out since May and it looked awful, but I was happy to see him despite me telling him off. Oh, and he didn't forget his phone last time. The time before, he left his phone on the train and it was never seen ever again. Silly boy.

Thing is, when he did come down, I was mostly working downstairs in the kitchen so I was annoyed that I couldn't spend that limited time with him. When he was down, I would shout at him to say GET OUT OF MA WAAAAY! because ya know, he was in the way of the fridge where the foods are. So I was a nightmare and I bet he was bored out of his mind because there's nothing to do in Honiton. Felt so bad.

When we did go somewhere or wanted to go somewhere nice, we either had to take the train or bus but that one day we wanted to go out - it was a bank holiday. Not much was running. This is when I would get frustrated with myself because I can legally drive but don't have a car, so I'm stuck and plus, I'm trying to save money for house or job or whatever.

Another thing was that I kept telling him off but my patience has worn thin now for some reason. Although he was pretty annoying. Most of the time, actually, ALL OF THE TIME, he would follow me everywhere. Follow me to the bathroom. To the toilet. To the kitchen. It was like having a puppy. Sweet but oh dear. My family members would watch him follow me and then look at me with a scowl on my face. They found it sweet but I was like DON'T CHU DARE. I think I got fed up that he wouldn't go anywhere independently. Or unintentionally, he would be in my way and I tell him to move so I could go somewhere and he would awkwardly run in the direction of where I was going. Sigh. 

Even though my patience is not exactly there anymore, I still love him. He was annoying and I could've killed him but I didn't feel like kicking him out. If I couldn't deal with him, I would have. With my last ex-boyfriend, he planned to stay with me for a month while his family moved house and after about a week or two, he drove me absolutely nuts! I kicked him out to his dads. But with Peter, it was different because I could stand him - for some reason. It shows how much patience I have left for this one. 

Right, I've read this through - yeah, I sound like a moany old cow but I do love him. FOR REALS. Anyway, I was upset that he left to go back home but at least I had the bed to myself again. Apparently I kept going diagonally and he had to keep moving me back. Naaah bitch, that's my side too. 

Peter, if you read this, please luff meh still. 

UPDATE: On Skin Condition

If you read my blogs, you would know about my skin condition on my hands and legs.

The tablets I received from the doctor in Hong Kong were a bunch of anti-allergy tablets and a set of steroid tablets. Obviously I couldn't take them for long due to side effects, but at least they worked for a while.

So I kept searching the Internet and I came across a blog post saying the exact condition I have and that he also went to various doctors. Even trekking to China for herbal remedies and steroid tablets. 

He said he bought some Milk Thistle vitamin tablets because apparently the condition is caused by the liver. So I thought fuck it, I'll take it. I would try anything to get rid of it. I've been taking it for more than three weeks now and it seems to have worked. 

Usually my skin would clear up for a week, then the blisters would come back, pop and then deep crackers would appear and take a long time to heal. During that time, I would be wearing gloves for everything. 

My hands so far have been okay. I've had the odd spot come up but then they go away the next day. I've also been using coconut oil to moisturise my hands because creams don't last long enough or go deep enough. 

So I wonder now if I should get my liver checked?

Should I Apply For The Great British Bake Off?

Not because I'm amazing at baking - it's because I am the worst.

Well, sort of. Whenever I bake, it's 50/50. Could turn out great, could turn out really bad. If it goes well, it's a surprise. 

I would probably provide a bit of entertainment. I would be shocked if I made it past the first week. I can imagine it already, my parent's placing bets to see how much I would fudge up.

Hmm, I'm thinking about it - maybe not.