These two beloved characters are from the popular American TV Sitcom "Frasier". I have never watched the show before until I came to university and my boyfriend made me watch it. To my surprise, it's actually quite funny and good.
Daphne Moon is the carer of Martin Crane and the housekeeper of Dr. Frasier Crane. When she first came onto the scene, Dr. Niles Crane (Frasier's brother) develops a crush on her and he keeps this up for SEVEN years.
SEVEN YEARS?! I think I would've given up. It's a long time.
However, there were reasons as to why it took so long for them to be together.
1) Niles was married to Maris, his wife at the time when he first met Daphne.
2) When they split up in Series 3, they didn't divorce until Series 6! He had still hoped they'd get back together. Maris was very controlling and Niles was very spineless.
3) Daphne was dating other men.
4) She didn't take an interest in Niles romantically yet until she found out Niles was in love with her.
5) When Niles and Maris did eventually divorce, Daphne was dating Donny and then got engaged to him.
After seven years of Niles sorting out his complicated love life, he needed those years to become a man. He needed to build his confidence and a backbone. Niles and Daphne did get together in the end, but it was on Daphne's wedding day that they realised they were meant for each other.
I've got to give credit to the man. That's dedication. He is such an awkward character. I think 'shy' is the word.
I've known boys in Secondary school who have loved their crush since Year 7 and it is only in Year 10/11 that they start dating them. I don't know what delays the process but I can think of a few reasons as to why it doesn't happen:
1) Shyness - Confidence would be the main issue.
2) "She's out of my league." - One of the most common reasons. I don't think there is such thing. It's all in the head. I think they should give it a go, and if they get rejected then move on. No need to dwell on it.
3) They wait until the girl has a crush back - They're waiting on chance.
4) She is taken at the time.
Because of these, men can miss their opportunity and regret not having done anything.
But I'm going to sneak in a 5th element and its not too late for most of the men:
5) If you're a good guy - Like the saying, "The good guy never gets the girl."
Well, that seems inaccurate. A girl may like the idea of a bad boy but they crave a good boy.
It's like they say, watch out for the quiet ones.
Tuesday 26 March 2013
"Hush Little Baby Don't Say A Word. Mummas Gonna Leave You All Alone."
On Saturday 23rd March 2013, a picture of a sleeping baby had recently been circulating around the news because the image show the little newborn left alone in a car, with a piece of note saying: "My mums in doing shopping. Call her if I need anything."
How did I feel? Annoyed, disappointed and disgusted. I'm not a mother yet but I know the basics. Never leave a child, especially a baby on its own. In my perspective, that's a trait of an unfit mother if you are abandoning your child. I can imagine myself being quite protective and worrying sick.
Sources said the mother was 'tired' and she didn't want to wake up her sleeping baby. No excuses. If I was her, I would still take my baby in with me, even it does wake up. What that woman did was illegal too - You're not allowed leave a child on its own if it is under the age of 14 in New Zealand.
Also in the news recently, MP David Jones expressed that gay marriages wouldn't provide a safe environment for children. Pfft. That's a bunch of bull. I think gay parents are better mothers and fathers than that woman who left her baby unsupervised. What's different? They'd be doing the same role as a straight parent would. Giving the child love, care and a home.
What was the point of having children if she wasn't going to take full responsibility of her child?
Any good, minded parent would've either sat in the car with her baby whilst it slept until it wakes up, or gently place the child in the pram and take he/she with her. Even if they do wake up, as a parent, you're meant to calm the baby down. Babies aren't a burden. What if the baby did suddenly wake up in the car all alone? Hungry or needed changing? The people on the outside wouldn't be able to do anything but watch and call the mother. They didn't call the police because they felt sorry for the 'tired' mother.
If they did, the mother would have either lost the child or be fined a huge amount. It'd be a lesson learnt for her bad decision making.
So David Jones, what did you mean when you said gay parents wouldn't provide a safe environment for children? Did you mean like abandoning a newborn baby in a car like this straight mother did? I think he should think before he speaks.
How did I feel? Annoyed, disappointed and disgusted. I'm not a mother yet but I know the basics. Never leave a child, especially a baby on its own. In my perspective, that's a trait of an unfit mother if you are abandoning your child. I can imagine myself being quite protective and worrying sick.
Sources said the mother was 'tired' and she didn't want to wake up her sleeping baby. No excuses. If I was her, I would still take my baby in with me, even it does wake up. What that woman did was illegal too - You're not allowed leave a child on its own if it is under the age of 14 in New Zealand.
Also in the news recently, MP David Jones expressed that gay marriages wouldn't provide a safe environment for children. Pfft. That's a bunch of bull. I think gay parents are better mothers and fathers than that woman who left her baby unsupervised. What's different? They'd be doing the same role as a straight parent would. Giving the child love, care and a home.
What was the point of having children if she wasn't going to take full responsibility of her child?
Any good, minded parent would've either sat in the car with her baby whilst it slept until it wakes up, or gently place the child in the pram and take he/she with her. Even if they do wake up, as a parent, you're meant to calm the baby down. Babies aren't a burden. What if the baby did suddenly wake up in the car all alone? Hungry or needed changing? The people on the outside wouldn't be able to do anything but watch and call the mother. They didn't call the police because they felt sorry for the 'tired' mother.
If they did, the mother would have either lost the child or be fined a huge amount. It'd be a lesson learnt for her bad decision making.
So David Jones, what did you mean when you said gay parents wouldn't provide a safe environment for children? Did you mean like abandoning a newborn baby in a car like this straight mother did? I think he should think before he speaks.
Friday 22 March 2013
The Looks Book.
Growing up and having to deal with puberty is a difficult thing. Especially if it shows in the form of acne and smelling really bad.
My little sister who is 12, is at the starting line of puberty and she has recently been getting spots on her face which is very normal. I've been through it myself and you learn to not worry about it as spots will go eventually go and it's alright to have them as they are a part of growing up.
Telling her this, she's still worried about her spots, so I ask her why.
She said it's because they're not pretty.
I said well it is part of growing up, you know hormones and stuff. You're bound to go through that stage.
Then she said, "Well no one wants to be ugly do they?"
After hearing that, I said, "Stop worrying about your spots. People get it off more worse than you and it can scar."
She just shrugged.
Pfft. Teenagers.
It disheartened me because looks seem to be her main priority, as well as for many other young girls like her. Although, I remember being that like in Secondary school.
I wasn't the most attractive young lady in Primary and it ran into the beginning of Secondary. I used to be like my baby sister. Get up early, tend to my hair, put a bit of make-up on. I didn't worry about my grades then. Thankfully, my sister does.
My baby sister has always been a very pretty young lady but she's never had to experience what's more important than looks. She hasn't had the chance to go from an ugly duckling to a beautiful swan. And thank god too, it was a long process and a long time before my blossoming came.
When you're not that attractive, you look at other qualities like unique skills you have. Boys are off the agenda since they are very much visual creatures. The only talent I found was that I was good at drawing and can whistle with my throat. That was pretty much it.
My sister's behaviour seems egotistic. She's a pretty girl and she should definitely flaunt it, but not by putting make-up on and wearing mini skirts to school. She's naturally beautiful. Although, I did that but my mother caught me out and I was back into my unsightly manly trousers/ granny skirt. Perhaps she was trying to tell me something back then. I'm all about comfort now and they were quite comfy, despite how horrible looking they were.
In the news recently, there has been an outrage by young children accessing porn, with girls as young as 13 admiring to look like porn stars (for example, "narrow waist, long slim legs and big boobs."). Boys want their girlfriends to look like that. Girls that young will conform to anything that they see. Although, I'm worried about why they are watching porn in the first place at that age. Back in my day, I was playing Nintendogs DS at 13.
No sister of mine is going to look like a porn star. She's going to look like a lady! However, she doesn't speak like one. Innit.
I've learnt that people find you attractive when you become content with yourself because then your happiness flows through.
My baby sister will one day learn what's more important.
She's just about to go through her teenage years. She's only 12 after all. It has been 8 years since I was as young as her and I'm still worrying about whether my hair bun will fall out but I don't spruce myself up as often anymore. Only on nights out and special occassions. It's a nice change to think about your looks once in a while.
When she is older, she can look as hot as she wants, but right now, grades first.
Like a wise man said to me, "You only have one life. But if you do it right, once is enough."
My little sister who is 12, is at the starting line of puberty and she has recently been getting spots on her face which is very normal. I've been through it myself and you learn to not worry about it as spots will go eventually go and it's alright to have them as they are a part of growing up.
Telling her this, she's still worried about her spots, so I ask her why.
She said it's because they're not pretty.
I said well it is part of growing up, you know hormones and stuff. You're bound to go through that stage.
Then she said, "Well no one wants to be ugly do they?"
After hearing that, I said, "Stop worrying about your spots. People get it off more worse than you and it can scar."
She just shrugged.
Pfft. Teenagers.
It disheartened me because looks seem to be her main priority, as well as for many other young girls like her. Although, I remember being that like in Secondary school.
I wasn't the most attractive young lady in Primary and it ran into the beginning of Secondary. I used to be like my baby sister. Get up early, tend to my hair, put a bit of make-up on. I didn't worry about my grades then. Thankfully, my sister does.
My baby sister has always been a very pretty young lady but she's never had to experience what's more important than looks. She hasn't had the chance to go from an ugly duckling to a beautiful swan. And thank god too, it was a long process and a long time before my blossoming came.
When you're not that attractive, you look at other qualities like unique skills you have. Boys are off the agenda since they are very much visual creatures. The only talent I found was that I was good at drawing and can whistle with my throat. That was pretty much it.
My sister's behaviour seems egotistic. She's a pretty girl and she should definitely flaunt it, but not by putting make-up on and wearing mini skirts to school. She's naturally beautiful. Although, I did that but my mother caught me out and I was back into my unsightly manly trousers/ granny skirt. Perhaps she was trying to tell me something back then. I'm all about comfort now and they were quite comfy, despite how horrible looking they were.
In the news recently, there has been an outrage by young children accessing porn, with girls as young as 13 admiring to look like porn stars (for example, "narrow waist, long slim legs and big boobs."). Boys want their girlfriends to look like that. Girls that young will conform to anything that they see. Although, I'm worried about why they are watching porn in the first place at that age. Back in my day, I was playing Nintendogs DS at 13.
No sister of mine is going to look like a porn star. She's going to look like a lady! However, she doesn't speak like one. Innit.
I've learnt that people find you attractive when you become content with yourself because then your happiness flows through.
My baby sister will one day learn what's more important.
She's just about to go through her teenage years. She's only 12 after all. It has been 8 years since I was as young as her and I'm still worrying about whether my hair bun will fall out but I don't spruce myself up as often anymore. Only on nights out and special occassions. It's a nice change to think about your looks once in a while.
When she is older, she can look as hot as she wants, but right now, grades first.
Like a wise man said to me, "You only have one life. But if you do it right, once is enough."
Sunday 10 March 2013
"Suddenly Single" By Sheila O'Flanagan.
The title is
self explanatory.
The question
however, is who and why.
This book uses one woman and her problems to represent
what women have to deal with in the 21st Century. For example, when
Alix Flanagan, the leading female character has a high flying job, her own flat
and a long term boyfriend, Paul, her life seems so perfect. So when she drops
the bombshell that she doesn’t want family with him yet due to her successful
job, he drops her from his life.
Now she’s suddenly single.
I find this
interesting because times have changed completely. Back in the 1950’s, men were
the breadwinners and the women were the broody housewives. Now, the women are
equal in bringing money in as the men are more family orientated. But now the different sexes have a change of
opinion and lifestyle. The modern times woman seems to struggle with weighing
out either motherhood or career and only having to pick just one.
It seems like women aren’t fortunate enough to have both nowadays. In Alix’s
situation, it looks like that Paul wanted to be with a more “traditional” woman
because he felt “broody”.
Now, I’m not a feminist and think “who needs men” but
as a woman myself, we’ve all been socialised when we were all younger to have a
job, spouse and children in society otherwise it isn’t considered the “norm”.
But this is the 21st Century now, when people remind us that our
biological clock is ticking by making “tick, tick” noises like Alix is by her
mother, it puts pressure on women and it limits their career span and I feel
that its unfair.
Women have choices in life. They don’t need dictatorship, just
time to be on their side.
Saturday 9 March 2013
Better Late Than Never.
I wrote a poem about my love and I was meant to upload it on Valentine's Day, but I became unwell that evening and then forgot about it, so here it is:
From the moment we met,
I knew we were meant to be.
Because for the first time in a while,
I could finally see,
That beauty within our love,
Feels just like a dream.
When we spoke in the park,
It was pretty dark.
They say love is blind,
But you are truly a find.
You told me a funny joke,
About a centipede and a bloke.
Although it was bloody long,
We exchanged loving looks throughout,
And I thought 'Ding Dong'.
When we arrived at the pizza place,
You thought I said something wrong,
So you cheekily corrected me in front of my face,
I saw your challenge but I also was headstrong,
I knew what I said, and gave you a bit of a scold.
You thought I was in denial,
But you also didn't like what you were being told.
We bickered back and forth,
I think we were both being juvenile.
Our friendship became cement,
Through our first argument.
I next saw you at a club party,
You looked so handsome,
While I thought I looked tarty.
I asked to you to come and dance,
And you obliged.
Love gave me another chance,
Which is why we had collide.
When we finally had our first kiss,
There was chemistry between us,
That I couldn't dismiss.
When I came home,
You had been waiting for me.
I called you down not knowing the outcome,
But it turns out it was meant to be.
We sat in the common room,
I could sense your awkwardness,
I didn't want our time together to feel like gloom,
So I decided to show my assertiveness.
You were making me feel uncomfortable,
Even though I knew you were nervous,
I'm fairly approachable,
So there was no need to be self-conscious.
We ended the evening with a good night kiss,
And a hug.
I knew what we had started was bliss,
But was worried about being called a mug.
When we had become an item,
I was having problems with an ex of mine.
He had found out about us then,
But I had hoped that the issue would subside in time.
Things got messy,
And you had to be involved.
Being together had caused controversy,
But as time went on the situation had subdued.
We have been dating for five months now,
Wow, hasn't it flown by?
I can't imagine my life without you somehow,
And I know the reason why.
You make me laugh,
And then you make me cry,
Simply because you're quite daft.
You're protective,
And very smart,
A quality like that is attractive,
Your wittiness hit me like a dart.
You're pretty,
And you're very sweet,
I'm so happy I was given this opportunity.
I know this poem is very cheesy,
But I cannot hide that,
There isn't anywhere else I'd rather be.
Than to be by your side.
Love from BearBear x
From the moment we met,
I knew we were meant to be.
Because for the first time in a while,
I could finally see,
That beauty within our love,
Feels just like a dream.
When we spoke in the park,
It was pretty dark.
They say love is blind,
But you are truly a find.
You told me a funny joke,
About a centipede and a bloke.
Although it was bloody long,
We exchanged loving looks throughout,
And I thought 'Ding Dong'.
When we arrived at the pizza place,
You thought I said something wrong,
So you cheekily corrected me in front of my face,
I saw your challenge but I also was headstrong,
I knew what I said, and gave you a bit of a scold.
You thought I was in denial,
But you also didn't like what you were being told.
We bickered back and forth,
I think we were both being juvenile.
Our friendship became cement,
Through our first argument.
I next saw you at a club party,
You looked so handsome,
While I thought I looked tarty.
I asked to you to come and dance,
And you obliged.
Love gave me another chance,
Which is why we had collide.
When we finally had our first kiss,
There was chemistry between us,
That I couldn't dismiss.
When I came home,
You had been waiting for me.
I called you down not knowing the outcome,
But it turns out it was meant to be.
We sat in the common room,
I could sense your awkwardness,
I didn't want our time together to feel like gloom,
So I decided to show my assertiveness.
You were making me feel uncomfortable,
Even though I knew you were nervous,
I'm fairly approachable,
So there was no need to be self-conscious.
We ended the evening with a good night kiss,
And a hug.
I knew what we had started was bliss,
But was worried about being called a mug.
When we had become an item,
I was having problems with an ex of mine.
He had found out about us then,
But I had hoped that the issue would subside in time.
Things got messy,
And you had to be involved.
Being together had caused controversy,
But as time went on the situation had subdued.
We have been dating for five months now,
Wow, hasn't it flown by?
I can't imagine my life without you somehow,
And I know the reason why.
You make me laugh,
And then you make me cry,
Simply because you're quite daft.
You're protective,
And very smart,
A quality like that is attractive,
Your wittiness hit me like a dart.
You're pretty,
And you're very sweet,
I'm so happy I was given this opportunity.
I know this poem is very cheesy,
But I cannot hide that,
There isn't anywhere else I'd rather be.
Than to be by your side.
Love from BearBear x
Saturday 2 March 2013
Friend Or Foe.
Back at school, I would witness the 'popular' kids being unpleasant to someone and then a nice girl would join their group, and I think, "Why?"
My mother tells me it's called 'Mean Girls Syndrome' - Derived from the American film 'Mean Girls', starring Lindsay Lohan whose character becomes close with the 'Plastics'. No matter how nasty the girls are, everyone still aspires to be them because they're popular and beautiful. They have the power to command.
The sad thing is that I still see it today.
I subvert from that clique group. If someone is mean, I step away. Like I did with my former best friend two years ago. I had been best friends with this girl since Year 7, she had such a bubbly personality, but as the years went by, I began to realise what kind of person she was. I thought we would look out for each other as well as for other people but she only thought about herself.
For example, when a mutual friend of ours developed romantic feelings for a boy in Year 8, this poor girl told my friend this and a day later, my friend was dating this boy. I was confused. I didn't understand why she did it. I guess if somebody else desires something, you'll desire it. I don't think she had any morals internalised at the time.
We then both started dating our first serious boyfriends in Year 10. Me and my friend drifted apart since our priorities were focussed on our relationships. We hadn't spoken properly in months and so when my ex-boyfriend broke it off with me after being together for two and a half years in December 2010, I received a text from her that night telling me to text her if I needed a chat.
I appreciated the sentiment but it wasn't genuine. This side was only awaken because she was being nosy. We hadn't spoken in months and she suddenly came out of the blue when something bad happens to someone else. I didn't reply.
Five months after it happened, I decided I didn't want her to be in my life anymore after I found she was gossiping to everyone in the Sixth Form common room about my sex life. She made me out like I was being promiscuous. I didn't need a person like that who's meant to be a friend but acts more of a stranger and talks about my life like that. It was humiliating. I cut off all contact with her for over a year. She needed to grow up before I wanted to talk to her again.
In August 2012, we started talking again and I had coffee with her. We caught up and we never brought up the reason why we didn't speak, just carried on as normal. I met up with her a few more times before I came to university, and she's still hasn't changed.
When I finished with an ex-boyfriend in September 2012, she sent me a text asking how I was and more pretentiousness. I said my thank you's and that's it. I was hoping to be on the road of recovery with her, hoping she'd be more considerate of her friends and be more aware of them since she doesn't reply to my texts or my best friend's texts. We don't bother anymore. We don't need to be treated like this and we're tired of chasing after her. All we wanted was to meet up for coffee since we know our time is limited due to jobs and assignments, but no luck.
I feel more like a spare part. If you're there, she'll remember you one day but forget about you for the rest.
After all these years, I'm still debating about who my real friends are. Even my mother still doesn't know.
My mother tells me it's called 'Mean Girls Syndrome' - Derived from the American film 'Mean Girls', starring Lindsay Lohan whose character becomes close with the 'Plastics'. No matter how nasty the girls are, everyone still aspires to be them because they're popular and beautiful. They have the power to command.
The sad thing is that I still see it today.
I subvert from that clique group. If someone is mean, I step away. Like I did with my former best friend two years ago. I had been best friends with this girl since Year 7, she had such a bubbly personality, but as the years went by, I began to realise what kind of person she was. I thought we would look out for each other as well as for other people but she only thought about herself.
For example, when a mutual friend of ours developed romantic feelings for a boy in Year 8, this poor girl told my friend this and a day later, my friend was dating this boy. I was confused. I didn't understand why she did it. I guess if somebody else desires something, you'll desire it. I don't think she had any morals internalised at the time.
We then both started dating our first serious boyfriends in Year 10. Me and my friend drifted apart since our priorities were focussed on our relationships. We hadn't spoken properly in months and so when my ex-boyfriend broke it off with me after being together for two and a half years in December 2010, I received a text from her that night telling me to text her if I needed a chat.
I appreciated the sentiment but it wasn't genuine. This side was only awaken because she was being nosy. We hadn't spoken in months and she suddenly came out of the blue when something bad happens to someone else. I didn't reply.
Five months after it happened, I decided I didn't want her to be in my life anymore after I found she was gossiping to everyone in the Sixth Form common room about my sex life. She made me out like I was being promiscuous. I didn't need a person like that who's meant to be a friend but acts more of a stranger and talks about my life like that. It was humiliating. I cut off all contact with her for over a year. She needed to grow up before I wanted to talk to her again.
In August 2012, we started talking again and I had coffee with her. We caught up and we never brought up the reason why we didn't speak, just carried on as normal. I met up with her a few more times before I came to university, and she's still hasn't changed.
When I finished with an ex-boyfriend in September 2012, she sent me a text asking how I was and more pretentiousness. I said my thank you's and that's it. I was hoping to be on the road of recovery with her, hoping she'd be more considerate of her friends and be more aware of them since she doesn't reply to my texts or my best friend's texts. We don't bother anymore. We don't need to be treated like this and we're tired of chasing after her. All we wanted was to meet up for coffee since we know our time is limited due to jobs and assignments, but no luck.
I feel more like a spare part. If you're there, she'll remember you one day but forget about you for the rest.
After all these years, I'm still debating about who my real friends are. Even my mother still doesn't know.
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