Halls From Hell.

Ok, I know the title is a bit extreme but in some peoples situations, it can be like that for them living here.

I live in a hallway and a kitchen full of 10 other girls. All lovely and want to do well at university. I live on the 4th floor which is the top of the building and one advantage of living here is how quiet it can be. Other floors such as floor 2 are loud and that can be a nuisance to other students who want the peace and quiet that we have.

However, when there is "some" noise, people complain. Perhaps it's because they're not used to the new background sound that has befallen them. Extreme I know but lately, people have gotten complaints, warnings, meetings and it's just getting ridiculous and out of hand.

WE'RE AT UNIVERSITY FOR HEAVENS SAKE!

I had an encounter with noise coming from my flatmates once. It was near the beginning of being in So'ton, roughly about 4 days in. They came back and put their music on loud. At the time, I only went out once nightclubbing (which was 2nd night I was here) and didn't want to go out again until Fresher's properly started.
Reasons were due to saving my money and to build up my anticipation for Freshers Fornight. Anyway, I came out to tell them to turn the music down a tiny bit. They obliged and I went back to sleep.

However, the next morning, I found out that two of my flatmates heard I came out and complained that I was 'always sleeping' and 'never go out'. Luckily, the other flatmate supported me by saying that I deserved respect by turning the noise down. I've been thankful for her ever since. It's a shame they didn't know my reasons for not coming out.

I've also never made another complaint or come out to tell them off when they go out, only because I told my mother about it the next day and she told me it was a bad idea, otherwise they'll think i'm a party pooper all the time and told me to buy earplugs.
When Freshers did start, I was buzzing for it, whilst some were pooped out already from 5 days of partying. Silly billys.

I've never minded or complained about the noise since but others have and it's affecting everyone.

It makes me sad that some people have made complaints, even about people who weren't here to make the noise! Someone even thought I made a complaint when I did sod all.
I'm quite an understanding person. Everyone is still 18/19, they're enjoying the experience of being young, because when they're 40 and staggering in execessively drunk, er, it will probably a bit unacceptable by then.

On the other hand, for the people who complain, I see it from their perspective. They've got lectures the next morning, a job to go to, or get fed up that the noise carries on until 7am.

But both teams need to take into consideration that students either just want to have fun or just sleep, but hinting to other flatmates that they should leave the hallway isn't acceptable. Its not nice.

My boyfriend said to me, "You're in a kitchen with 11 big personalities. Of course it's going to clash." He's very observant. He acts like my second pair of glasses and he was right.

I'm in a hallway full of opinions. Someone was going to disagree with someone else at some point. I've found out some of their true nature is to cause problems and disagree. Thats just being nasty.

I moved away from that ever since Year 9, when an ex of mine called me a two-faced-bitch. It hurt so bad and affected me. So I changed for the better. And I like it. I only say something if I have a good reason to. I don't say it willy-nilly. Negative things people say and do shows and it takes its toll on their faces.

I like to see people in a good light, but if I get a bad vibe from them, I'll keep my guard up.

My First Semester.

My first semester has included many other firsts. 

My first week in Southampton. My first lesson. My first assignment. But no sign of a 1st in my grade just yet. It wasn't my first time panicking about deadlines either. I should be considered an expert in that area and I have never learnt from my first mistake. 

University makes you grow up. Being in Southampton makes you grow up even more. You're away from home. Mother isn't there to cook for you anymore and the only person that will do that for you is the kettle. Pot noodles are gold. Instant meals are essential. My sleep is the most important activity in my life. My bed has become my best friend. 

Other elements of being a university student has also made me see life in a different light. You don't take anything for granted anymore. Family becomes so high up in priorities that its ranking goes into the minus numbers. Before university, I wanted independence. Badly. But when you've been away from family for a quarter of the year, you miss them and its certain aspects of them that you thoroughly miss.

For example, I still see my 12-year-old sister as the little cherub when I first saw her, but now, since I'm away from her, I don't get to see her grow up. Every time I go home, she gets taller and taller. Creeping an inch up every time. I'm tempted to wear heels around the house, while she trotts around bare-footed, accessorised with a smug smile. It's not fair. I'm only little. Other people know this as well. In my halls, for the first time in my life, I got called 'short'. I correct them and say 'I am petite'. It sounds cuter and I won't sound like a midget if I get called the 'S' word. 

Oh yeah, I rant a bit more now. More things to rant about in a big city. Especially about people calling me short. 

V is for Valentine's Day. Not Vom.

I Love St. Valentine's Day.

Hearts everywhere. Everyone being mushy. Chick flicks on TV. It really is a special day.
I'm not being biased by the way. I've always been like this, whether I was single or taken.
I love the atmosphere. I'm in awe of loved up couples. I feel happy for them.

However, it is also a day where people get emotionally depressed and become quite negative. I've heard some girls say that whenever they see a couple in love, it makes them want to be sick.

Ok, when I first heard that, I thought how silly. They want to projectile actual vomit in public when they see a couple? Ew. I know it is a phrase that people use to express their disgust but they are like the Scrooge of Valentine's Day.

I don't know if this is whether they are unhappily single or hate romance but it is a special day for everyone. It will even warm up the coldest of hearts.

For 16 years of my life, I never got a Valentine's Day card or had a secret admirer. I was a young girl who was single with no cards to show. I didn't mind. I got excited when other girls received heart shaped cards in class. Perhaps I'm a hopeless romantic. I knew I was still young, so I wasn't worried about not being loved on just one day.

I never had a date either. I didn't mind. I wasn't the prettiest of things when I was younger so I didn't expect anything from boys.

However, the problem with Valentine's Day is that once a boy or a girl gives a card to whoever they like. What happens next? Are they hoping their crush guesses who sent it and prays for their love in return? It is the waiting game.

If you like someone, then tell them. Don't wait for the 14th February to land on your doorstep. I know rejection is on the cards but at least you can say you gave it a go and move on with the next person, instead of sending cards once a year to the same person for the next 10 years, wondering whether you'll be an item. Get balls. YOLO.

On the other hand, I'll give them credit for keeping the effort up for 10 years if that happens.

If you're still as grumpy as a cat on V. Day, don't fret.

Single? There is someone out there for you. But don't sit there, waiting for someone to like you. You have to make the effort if you want the best catch in the sea.

Not so single? Well, not much I can say. It is expensive! Spending so, so much. Restaurant prices are extortionate. Gifts are overpriced. Cards are getting bigger each year. Oh dear. 

Pay attention boys and girls, crying is the new vomming.

Time To Say Goodbye?

I found out some sad news.

My friend Amy said she was thinking of moving universities closer to home for second year.

I felt very sad. Me and Louise* were really looking forward to living with her next year since all three of us have been together since halls in 2012.

She explained to us that it was a money issue. That she wanted to keep her job at home. Didn't want to spend money on acccomodations. She didn't want to keep spending money on train tickets back home. She missed her family. She said she didn't want to live in Southampton anymore.

At first, I thought this was Preston's doing - Making her move back home so he control her. It didn't sound like her. I thought she loved her uni life. But she has changed since coming back. She was happy to be in a house with us before Christmas. I don't think this is Preston's work here. I think this is Amy. But then I think, why go home most of the time when it is expensive? Why go on holiday later this year? Why live in the other end of the country? It gets too confusing.

She said her options were either go back home or live in halls. She already inquested the university about transferring without letting us know and we already booked to view a 5 bedroom house.

I'm worried for her. I'm worried she's doing this for a boy. I'm worried she'll end up alone. I'm worried she'll regret this in 10 years time. She would be leaving her life here and her friends behind. Her friends at home have all gone to university.

Her boyfriend doesn't visit her in Southampton anymore since his inappropriate behaviour last time. If this is due to him, we have reassured her that he is welcome to come down when we move into our new house. We'll all be polite. Otherwise if he's unwelcome, then she'll feel unwelcome. We don't want that.

I hope he makes her happy this time. I hope she stays. We'll all miss her so much if she goes. We'll always be there for her.

A Leopard Never Changes Its Spots.

Remember the blog "Their love didn't deserve her heart"? This is part 2.

Their love has resurrected from the undead. No soul. No heart. No morals.

He is a parasite. It takes over the host and manipulates it. 

 

She does social work you see. Maybe she sees him as a disadvantaged human being and wants to help him. Change his ways. Make him better. But he's already damaged goods. 

How did I feel when I found out over New Year? Disappointed. It would be like me dating Steven again. I think I would get a slap from each person that had seen how unhappy I was with him. I don't know what is going through her mind. I was shocked at the thought of her putting up with the emotional abuse again.

However, I'm not sure about him anymore. I'm not sure about Amy either.
She seems different since we've all come back to university after Christmas break.
Quiet is one way to describe it. I don't know what happened over the holidays but something inside her has changed. She's shut down.

I learnt from a friend that she has told another friend, stating that 'she can date whoever she wants' and 'it has nothing to do with us'. Fair point. She can date whoever, regardless of what they look or smell like, but when she comes running down the corridor to someone elses bedroom, crying her eyes out because her beloved boyfriend has done something silly again. Then it is our problem. We live with her. We care for her. Of course we'd worry about who she dates. It's our problem because she's our friend and we have to take care of her when she's feeling rough.

Now, I don't know whether those were her words or her boyfriends. If her boyfriends, then it sounds like he is trying to alienate her from the rest of us. She doesn't come out of her room anymore or eat in the kitchen with me. If it is hers, then, well, all those times that we've defending her and convincing her that all these faults were not caused by her, have been wasted. I don't know whether our opinions matter anymore.

She has become a bit of a recluse, but we will always be there for her if she ever comes running in our direction again. If she is happy with him again then we're happy that she is. I just hope she knows that we will support her whatever she does.

However, a leopard never changes its spots and I will definitely be there for her.
 

The Eyes Says It All.

I'm Chinese and proud of my heritage.
The most distinctive feature of a Chinese person is their eyes because they are small.

I have abnormally big eyes for a Chinese person and so do some of my other family members, whilst the rest have the stereotypical image of an Asian people. I love them all regardless of what they look like.

However, I've noticed that having small eyes is deemed negative and unattractive.
For example, I 've seen girls take pictures of themselves, observe the picture afterwards and complain that they look Chinese.

What do I think? I feel offended. What's wrong with looking Chinese?

I remember a story my aunt told me about the time she was traveling on the train to the Lake District for a wedding with her two black friends, and she had her back turn to this man in the carriage (her friends were facing her in a four-seater). She overheard this man having a conversation with his friend in the seats behind her, about how his girlfriend had put too much make-up on and it made her look Chinese. Now, since he only saw my aunts black hair, he assumed that she was black (because she was with her friends), and so when he made that comment, my aunts ears flared up. She turned around and confronted him, asking him what that comment was supposed to mean. He didn't have an answer and realised his mistake. As an apology, he bought her and her friends champagne.

Learning from that, i'm not expecting anything luxurious in return if I confront somebody. I just want them to understand that its not something you say.

My mother has always taught me to think before I speak and I try my best to follow that rule and so should other people.

Is it racist? I'm still debating on that. Maybe a bit.
Since i'm from the minority race, they shouldn't be condemning something thats part of us.

We are who we are.

"I've Been To Paradise But I've Never Been To Me"

A new chapter begins.

My faith in love has been restored because of Peter. The man I fell in love with.

I always thought in my head that couples were together due to compatibility. Always thought that soul mates and finding "The One" were only fictional and only in fairytales.

I found my fairytale. He may be no Prince Charming, but he's my Shrek.

Shrek and Fiona. Beautifully green.
Actually, he was wearing green when we first kissed so a very, very lucky colour

I was in Southampton and I met Peter (just as friends) on my floors common room in September 2012.
I had just come out of a relationship from Steven. My eyes were sore. Puffy, in fact. I knew this would happen and yet I let the river flow.
Luckily, I had make-up in my bathroom and concealed the fudge out of my face.

In the common room, my flatmates were playing Spin The Bottle - you know the rules: bottle spins twice and voila! A kiss must appear! In my head, I thought timing couldn't have been better. I was nervous since I hadn't kissed anyone else but the ex-boyfriend for a year and a half and I couldn't wait to enjoy being single.

The bottle span. Boys and girls kissed. Even boys on boys. That's just poor spinning. When it came to my turn, my bottle kept on pointing to Peter. Yeah, we kissed. I was happy.
We went for pizza afterwards and we just talked whilst walking through the park. It was romantic in my eyes. I felt something between us.

I didn't see him again until the Traffic Light Party (It is a colour coded party where they give out wristbands with 3 diff colours: Red = taken, Amber = Seeing someone but not serious, Green = Single!). We both wore green wristbands. We were on the dancefloor. I put my arms around him. Look him in the eyes.... and looked down. Damn, was I nervous. I liked him so much by then. Didn't mean to though but I was ready for him. Maybe my heart had been ready for a long time, which makes me feel bad and guilty about Steven.

Anyways, I eventually kissed Peter. When I looked up, of course. I couldn't stare at the floor forever. The floor was mighty disgusting. Spilt drinks, paper bands, girls wearing ugly shoes. Ew. His pretty face was much nicer. From that night on, we were officially a couple.

Nah, I'm kidding, we weren't one yet. I didn't want one yet because I just come out of a relationship and I didn't want to jump into another one. I knew people would react badly and society would probably cast me away as 'one of the those girls'. But in my heart, I was ready for him. It felt so right being with him. Perhaps, in a way, I wanted to be single so badly in my previous relationship but wanted to be with that person that I acted too independent and single. Minus the cheating.

He'd ask from time to time, what we were. My reply was that we were 'friends who kissed'. Lame I know but it was the only thing I came up with. It was heartbreaking for me to say it. I wanted to say that we were a couple and be all lovey dovey, but love isn't like that. Peter knew what he wanted. I felt his heart drop everytime I couldn't think of an answer everytime he asked that.

By the second week, I had already fallen in love. I remember watching Disney's Tangled in my room, while Peter was getting ready to go out to Oceana. I was in my PJs. He came into room, looking handsome as always. I gaze up at him in awe. I wanted to be with him. For good. He saw the look I was giving him. He asked me again what my answer was. The night before, he had asked me to be his girlfriend, but I said I would think about it. Again, I said the same thing. When he left, I knew what was my answer was. I just waited for him to come back. Like he had been waiting for me.

I said yes, and here we are. Happy and meant to be. I never thought I would find my soulmate so early, but you never know what might come your way.

How do I know we're meant to be? My heart feels content. Your instinct tells you. You'll know when it's right and I have that feeling. My mother always emphasises that you will have that feeling and so when I told her, she wasn't surprised. She found her soulmate at the age of 17 and look at my mother and father now. Two peas in a pod.

Some family members think I am too young and I understand what they are saying, but I'm not looking down to settling down yet. Education is first. Job, house, travel the world, etc etc and THEN a family. Me and Peter both feel its right.

When I have relationships and get into a bickering situation, I always have doubts about that person and why I was with them.
With Peter, we bicker and thats it. I don't think 'why on earth I'm with him?'. I just think he's a massive silly billy. BIG TIME.

Of course, we have annoying habits. I fart a lot and he leaves my towels strung along my bedroom at uni. Oh yeah and eats my food and drinks my tea when he has his own fudging grub upstairs! Grr!

"IZZY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!"

But I love him. He's doing a comedy writing course here at solent. I don't need him to tell me a joke, to be honest. He's got dyspraxia you see. I see him fall off the bed and I'm in tears. And I don't even help him up. HA! Oh my god, I'm a bad girlfriend, but I wouldn't change him. Or his size 13 feet.

I am his Bearface and he's my Tank.

I love you Mr. Davies. Love of my life.

Ps. I will make you a sandwich when I get back.

The Only Crime I Committed Was Falling In Love.

After "My First Love", in the forth month of being newly single, I ended up in another relationship.

Should I have stayed single for longer? Yes.

Do I regret having the relationship? Maybe. I don't like regretting things because some things happen for a reason and you learn a lot from an event, but the way it began wasn't how I imagined it.

It all started in my first year of Exeter College. I chose to study Sociology, Media Studies, Journalism and English Language. In my English Language class, I met Karen*, a lovely girl a year younger than me who I bonded with and became close with. At the time, she was dating a young chap, Kevin* who too went to the same college. I asked how she bagged him. She went, "Easy. I stalked him."
At first, I was shocked. But it turns out that he liked being followed in Exeter. By an attractive girl, of course.

Their relationship terminated when Steven* came onto the scene. Karen's and Steven's friendship was nothing more than mutual. Well thats what I thought. I found out that they developed feelings for each other. Karen's and Kevin's 9 month romance was over. Kevin was devasted. But he coped. He found new love eventually in the end.

It was now the first chapter of Karen and Steven. They dated two days after she broke up with Kevin. Perhaps they didn't want to waste anymore time without each other than they already did. Perhaps, that was my mistake.

They dated. People hated. That's how it went. I was the mutual friend of them. Witnessed their relationship through thick and thin. They even asked me for advice about their sex life. I think it was a bit too close for comfort. I felt like the 3rd wheel at times. Their love was doomed from the beginning. I didn't know how it was going to end. But I was part of it.

During their relationship, Steven would tell me stories of how he and Karen would make love, and then out of the blue, ask him if I had a nicer body than hers. Why, why, why? At first, I thought her insecurities must be going over board but as I thought about it, he must have taken an interest in me and spoke about me in front of his previous girlfriend. I was flattered but it was wrong. Both naked, talking about me. AAAH!

Anyways, it all ended for them. After 5 and a half months together. He decided to call it quits. I felt relief. It became too much. So much effort to keep it all together. She was insecure and he was very needy and desperate. It just didn't work.

Then it all happened on Kate and Will's wedding day. That night, even. I had been invited out for drinks by Steven and I thought why not. I met him and he took me to the park. Thats where we had our first kiss. I felt happy. Happy that I was getting attention. Happy to know what a kiss feels like again. But at the same time, I was so worried about what Karen would think. She by this time bagged herself a new chappy but was still angry about the break-up from Steven, and I was kissing her ex-boyfriend! But we both had developed feelings for each other. I wanted to remain single a tad more. I was enjoying the freedom and felt it was too soon, but he wanted to be with me.

Of course she found out, we made our relationship public and it was never the same again. I lost a friend, who I connected with well. During our relationship (1 and 1/2 years), he admitted that he left Karen for me. I was surprised and felt sorry for her. I wouldn't like to be left for another women. I can imagine it's heartbreaking and humiliating.

Two weeks into our relationship, I felt something in my heart that wasn't right. I kept on getting doubts early on. Whether or not that was normal, but I liked him enough so I decided to see how it went. He lived with me for a month while he and his family moved house. I thought it was very hospitable for my mother to suggest that idea. I thought "Great!"
However, within 2 weeks of him living with me. I had enough. I wanted him out. My space. My home. I couldn't stand him for some reason and my mother had always used that against me to warn me and I should've listen to her. My mother spends 24/7 everyday with my father, without any massive complaints. They enjoy their time together, whether they bicker or laugh. Yes, she does get annoyed at him, but she wouldn't have it any other way or kick him out of the house. I sent my boyfriend at the time to his fathers.

After 2 days, I missed him. And he missed me. We started our 2nd year of college and it went okay. He knew I was going to university after A-Levels and thats when he began to act funny. He would try to plan holidays, days out, I thought it was a kind gesture but I never had the time - studying and working every night was stressful. I was determined to get into university. So I would politely say 'No'. Then he would turn sad. Depressed. It would bring down my mood. He was whiny. Needy. Dependent on me.

I remember I went to Newquay with four other girls from college and I called up Steven to see how he was. Second day into my holiday and I was crying. He spoke of how he couldn't cope that I was far away from him and having fun. I thought he was going to break up with me. He said he didn't know what to do. But we patched things up eventually. Although, I don't think I would have forgiven him if he ruined my girls holiday.

During Newquay, I found out I got into my chosen university and was estatic. As soon as I got home, I started packing for my new life ahead of me. Steven was supportive as always. However, he didn't like the idea of not seeing me and afraid of my new life.

I arrived at my accommodation,  the first four nights I would skype Steven, see how he was and let him see how my uni life was so far. He would be happy to see me at first but then his mood would change instantly. Depressed each time I skyped him. It brought my mood down and he made me unhappy in uni. Then on the 5th night, I had had enough.

Our conversation started off as normal and then he brought up a photo of me taken in a club. Out came his jealousy and depressive side. I got fed up of his behaviour. I called it quits. It took hours but I did it. And it was the best thing I had ever done. I was free. His desperate personality appeared after we finished things and I realised he hadn't changed one bit. I used to listen to him moan every day and night about his job, his boss, his home life, his career. My ears ached. I don't think they have fully recovered.

He sent me a letter afterwards. He listed a few demands if I were to be friends with him. Write back. Listen to him. Explained to me what a 'cog' is - I'm not stupid. He also had the cheek to ask if I liked any guys in uni.

(Yes, yes I do)

Asking all these questions. I didn't want to answer them. I realised that if I became friends with him again, his behaviour wouldn't change. He would treat me the same, just as a friend instead. So I decided we shouldn't be friends. It was too delicate.

We don't talk now. Things happened. Mothers got involved, etc etc. I wished we remained friends, like I do with Adam, but its too difficult.

As an overview, I now noticed that Steven's life was at a halt, while mine was progressing. I understand why he was feeling these emotions. I felt like it once but I was determined for university and I aimed high. He depended on me very much and it was a lot of weight on my shoulders that I couldn't carry anymore.

He was a good boyfriend, but he wasn't right for me and I wasn't right for him. It wasn't meant to be.

I now focus on the next three years of my life at university, my family, my friends and my beau. I received backlash for being with my current boyfriend so soon, but the thing is - I fell in love. That's fact.

I believe that things happen for a reason and I wouldn't change it because these elements are important in making me now.

I'm enjoying the present and look forward to the future.

My First Love.

When I was a little girl, I wasn't the prettiest of the ducklings, in fact, I wasn't pretty. But my mother always said that I would blossom into a beautiful swan one day. It just takes patience.

Love never came my way because I wasn't the most prettiest or the most popular. My chance came when I was a 15 year old schoolgirl, and thats when I first met Adam*. He was my first serious relationship. We dated for 2 and a half years. He was my first love, and I was his first girlfriend.

During our relationship, we were very much in the honeymoon period. It was my first time falling in love and I lost my virginity to him. Although, I made him wait 9 months into the relationship before committing myself to him. He obliged and waited with me. We both lost it at 16. I made sure I was legal. I always had this thought that I wasn't going to have sex until university, but you never know what may come your way and change your course.

Towards the end of our relationship, we were both 18. He had changed. He started to listen to unusual music. Pierced his once-beautiful face with metal, even without my approval. He became the person I didn't fall in love with. He was rebelling. Rebelling from the 'norm'. He had a good boy image, you see: A-Grade student, wanted to study engineering and his parents were very supportive of him and loved him a dear amount. But it didn't stay.

Judgement day came when I received a text two days before Christmas in 2010, when I woke up at 8.15am, naturally, which was the strange part, but something was telling me to wake up. He sent me a text telling me to get a sense of humour, attached with a paragraph of lyrics from an emo song. I've got to admit, I was puzzled and full of anger.
However, I didn't tell my parents. They gradually found him odd. But my Christmas was clouded with unhappiness.

I met him 3 days after Christmas, with a £60 gilet, hoping to reconcile with him and salvage the rest of my relationship. But when I met him, we both knew it was over. I couldn't look at him. I was disgusted by his new behaviour. I was my mother's daughter. I should've just got up and left him, but I was deluded. He broke my heart. It took four hours for us to confirm it was too late to go back. Before I left, I gave him his Christmas present. In return, I received nothing. I realised that he didn't want to be with me anymore. I was just a convenience.

My mother wanted me to put the heartbreaking text on Facebook, but I said no. I didn't want to inflict that on him. I'm not that kind of person.

As the months went by, my heart was numb from all the ache I had endured. I felt no emotion. No pain. My impression of love had changed. I became very cynical.
Two months after we broke up, even though I would never get back together with him. My world crumbled. I visited my old friends in Sixth Form since I moved colleges to be on a course I wanted, and found out that Adam had found a new girlfriend. I was happy for him. He deserved happiness, afterall, we're young. But for the first time in a while, I felt pain in my chest. I smiled through the news. But that night, my mother entered my room to check on me and she heard me speaking in my dream: "I'm heartbroken, mum.". She wasn't shocked. So she had the chocolate ready.

I was and am always polite to my ex-boyfriend. I don't blame him at all. We were very young when we dated, and like my current boyfriend says,
"You're very different people when you're 15 and now."
And he's right. Perhaps, my love with Adam had an expiry date, since we were growing up into our own person.

Since coming back from university for the Christmas holidays, I have seen my ex-boyfriend. He's a very different person. Grown up. He has a glow. University has influenced him in a good way. We were both polite like usual, talking about the amount of work that we suffer. He studies Japanese. I say good on him. It's something he's wanted to do. I remember his massive Japanese dictionary in his bedroom. I'm surprised the table was still standing.

I will always consider him as a friend. Never more. Never less. But I will never get the friendship I had with him back. While everyone else is close to him, I will stand my distance and smile from afar.

Their Love Doesn't Deserve Her Heart

Some things, I've learnt are worth fighting for. The love I've witnessed wasn't. I learnt it was doomed from the start. 

Since university in September 2012, I met my dear friend Amy* who was dating a guy she adored, named Preston*. Whenever she spoke about him, she mentioned how much she loved him and from the outside, she was happy. They'd been dating for 2 months.

However, as the weeks went by, I found out some disturbing elements of their relationship. Amy has always spoke of Preston in a positive manner. How he can drive. How he loves her back. But as the barriers came down, she talked about how his previous girlfriend was too afraid to break up with him. Of course, we ask why. Turns out that he was very possessive and manipulative. Not at all the perfect boyfriend we expected. And he had not changed one bit.

During the 3 months that I have known her, he would ring her up, having a go at her for going out and having fun. His jealousy was off the scale but he insisted that he didn't trust other men. His jealousy was natural since they were 4 hours apart, but a 25-year-old stalking his girlfriend. Checking who she's with. Trying to catch her out.

He would make her cry. She would drink alcohol. He would make her cry again. She would drink more alcohol.

She would hide photos that he wouldn't approve - in case he got 'angry'. I didn't like the sound of it. He had a temper, and when he did release it, he would call my friend obscenities. Awful things I do not wish to repeat.

He saw his irrational behaviour as normal. She did as well.

We begged her to break it off, but like the previous girlfriend, she too became scared.

Her relationship was like a house. When a house has a water leakage, it floods the floors and the owner has to clean up the mess. Like Amy has to but she can't turn the source off and so it begins to be a cycle. Mould appears, a sign that its becoming unhealthy to live like this. Like the damage that was brought on by Preston that affected Amy. Her heart didn't deserve this. Eventually, there is too much mess to clear up. The structure of the house weakens and collapses. No way to rebuild it. The foundation of a relationship is trust, and there was no co-operation from his side to begin with. No foundation, no house. No security. He had been homeless until he met Amy. He took the happiness out of her home.
She relied on the alcohol as her base. But the problem with that is, it's a fluid. A fluid that is unpredictable. It can go this way, or that way. With catastrophic consequences.

It was heartbreaking for me. As well as for all for everyone witnessing. Parents want the best for their children but cannot interfere with their childrens mistakes. They know their children have to learn from them. For them to open their eyes.

Luckily, when the alcohol was gone, the empty bottle was her vision. The glasses to make her see sense. So she ended it. And drank more to console herself. Don't worry, she's not an alcoholic. Just upset.