Monday 16 March 2015

University Friends vs Friends Back At Home

It's a difficult situation to be in because one half of your friends are working full-time and the other half is trying to get a degree. And some don't even want to mix with each other because they're in different areas of their lives.

I'm the degree part but doesn't mean I'm not friends with people who work. I don't want to isolate people because at the end of the day, we all have the same goal - have a job and earn money.

The difficulty I mentioned is balance. 

Balancing the time to see each other when we're home. Balancing out topics during conversations - everyone won't be sharing the same experience's and may get jealous or bored. This is one problem one of my friend's had, and I just felt angry. Well, not angry. Annoyed mainly because the situation that occurred was rude. 

I stopped being friends with one girl (Girl1) for various reasons but me and this girl are mutual friends with another girl that I'm good friends with, and regularly meet for coffee when I'm back from Southampton. (Sorry for the very long sentence)

Anyway, my friend started her degree at a college for the first two years and then completed her last year at a university. I was happy for her what ever she did but quite happy that she went to university because I think she has always wanted the "university experience". 

She went to university and would come back for holidays. When I met up with her, she said that she had met up with Girl1 and Girl2. Each time they had met up, they never asked about her about how university was. They didn't go you see, so I don't know whether they felt no common ground if they asked or that they felt other things. No idea. It's out of politeness to ask because that was her life at the time and I'm sure they were a little bit curious. 

When I met up with her, I would ask her so many questions about how university was going, who were flatmates were, what the course was like and everything. But maybe because I know about the subject more than the other girls because I went. 

I guess it seemed like the best of both worlds but it wasn't.

Apparently they would usually talk about themselves, how much money they were making and how many boys they had kissed. I can see that. When I was still friends with one of them back then, she kept saying how much money she was making, how many discounts she was given and the amount of clothes she bought, only for her to give it to charity straight after. I got bored of the conversations. Only because it was bragging and I thought with all of that money, she'd start saving it for a house or something for the future, but she just kept spending it. It's not my place to tell something how to live or advise how they should spend their money. They're old enough to know.  

One thing that bugged me was that whenever my friend would again meet up with these girls, they would (I guess) talk about work and then turn to my friend and say, "Oh, you 'university people' wouldn't understand." THE FUCK?

Huh? Am I not getting something here? Do you think we are a different kinds of species or something? Do you think we are thick? Why you trying to alienate us?

We 'university people' will be part of your group one day, it's just delayed because well, of a degree and debt. 

We are not above you if you are thinking that. We also don't think you're below us either because you have not experienced the university life. Heck, I don't even know how to do tax or even got the hang of bill money so that's going to come as a surprise for me.

Back to the point, I could tell my friend was annoyed at the fact that they kept separating full-time workers to people who went on to higher education. It's not nice. My friend is only one person and these two girls kept saying shit. I would feel pretty miffed and isolated. Two girls against one. I felt annoyed for her because of the way they were treating her as something different. Is that what friendship is? How can friendship be like this over education? 

My friend is now working full-time so hopefully their stupid talk has stopped.

Anyway, with my university friends [people I've met here and friends from home who have gone to university], I guess it was inevitable that we would get on. We're all going through the same experience and so we could natter about everything that we encountered so far. 

I feel for the people who never went. If I didn't go and had plenty of friends who went and came back with all these new stories and experiences, I would feel left out and feel that we have nothing in common. 

But good friendship won't let that get in the way. Everyone will be going through experiences at different parts of their lives. Whether you're traveling, working abroad, having a family, doing a PhD or taking care of 30 cats - as long as you are open in sharing experiences and listening. 

If you don't have the ability to listen to your friends or ask how they are then mate, you're rude.


PS I still like some of my friends back at home. I just feel sad when they leave out people who went to university and vice versa. It's not fair and not nice. 

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