Being A Teenager Was Hard.

When I think of a 'teenager', I think of my sister. She's the typical stereotype: stroppy, anti-social in family gatherings, selfie obsessed, "whatever" - the list can go on.

I was definitely this kind of teen.

Being a teenager - you think your life is over. FOREVER! I HATE YOU! Yeah, that era. 

You are landed with so many expectations - be popular, get good grades, look amazing, have loads of friends, have every social networking platform on game as well as your eyebrows. It's a wonder how they ever sleep at night.

Seriously though, everything needs to be spot on. 

My sister is going through the phase of being "mean" and trying to look older. Jail bait. I really hated that phase because I look back now and realise how stupid I looked.

It feels like bitchy/mean girls run the world from the ages of 12-16. After that, you realise they ain't shit. You are. They don't run your life. You do. Sure they can call you ugly or fat or whatever they think is "cool", they're nasty at the end of the day. 

With trying to look older, who are you trying to impress? When I was younger, I was trying to impress guys. My parents said that I was "mature", but no one has fun being mature. I'm the opposite now. It's hilarious seeing my sister trying to act 18 when in reality, she's only just come out of the womb. 

It also seems like as a teen that looks are E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

If you are a teenager, then please - stay looking young as long as possible. Time flies and you'll look back realising how much time you wasted trying to be "cool" or putting menial things at the top of your list. 

Another tip I will give is listen to your parents. GOD I KNOW! SUCH A CHORE! But your parents were teens once (duh!) and they will want to give you as much wisdom as possible. They may shout at you but they do it out of love (and also because you're being a right fucking pain in the bum). 

This can be one of the greatest times of your life but can also be the worst. You'll be okay though if you have the right people around. 

Good luck!

What Defines Us Is How Well We Rise After Falling

I follow a YouTube channel called JK News, a news style channel where they express their opinions over articles sent by subscribers and I consider myself a fan. I have watched all of their videos and agree with what they have to say.

In the new video, however, "Bully Asks Girl He Once Tormented On Date But Gets Rejected", I felt really disappointed. In this story, it was about a female university student who was bullied for three years by this boy back in Year 8. Now 22, she got asked out by the boy over Facebook. It said her first instinct was to say "no" but due to what he did to her, she decided to accept the date and stand him up and leave him a picture of her 13-year-old self and a note saying if he remembered her and what he did affected her. Basically scolding him and making him feel bad.

JK News response? One member kept calling her a "loser", "unevolved" and "immature" and that everyone gets picked on. Yes, it's true, everybody gets picked on during their life but this girl was bullied for THREE years. That's some serious picking. Why were they justifying his actions? Yes, he was in school when he did it but bullies never consider how the victims feel. It lead to the girl developing an eating disorder because he kept calling her fat. 

I had to check the comment section underneath and of course, there was a hoard of people expressing their disgust at what that one member said. It was mainly by the people who have been bullied before and it was really insightful in what they had to say. Bullying can affect people in so many ways and it depends on how they handle it. 

I thought JK News would be more open minded than this since they probably got bullied too when they were younger and yet, they're making bullying seem like a side issue and making the girl seem like she was in the wrong. They were even laughing about it. I don't understand. They said that she shouldn't hold a grudge for that long and plan that "revenge" and "to get over it". The part I agree on is the revenge and grudge bit, but I wouldn't call it revenge. That boy, between the ages of 13-16, made her feel like utter shit. He would've been old enough to know what he was doing by 16. 

That note she wrote to him was a way of validating herself. Her self worth was probably quite low and now that he wanted to date her, she is now worthy of his "kinder" side. It was all about looks for him. What a shitbag. Kids can be absolutely horrible if another child is "fat" or "ugly" but what children don't know is that looks fade and some take longer to become a beauty and it seems like she has blossomed into a swan. Also, I don't think she planned to set revenge on this guy for 10 years, it seems like seeing him brought up bad memories and she just wanted closure and an apology. 

However, children that young don't understand what they're doing. They don't think about the consequences. It was also possible that he was in a group of friends when he did bully her, so he would have that pack mentality. Still, the parents should teach them not to bully too. I do agree that people can change over the years and become a better person, but it doesn't stop the victim from feeling bitter from what they had experienced. 

"To get over it", like I said, many would handle it in a different way, but getting over it isn't simple. Many suffer from psychological trauma from it, causing a lot of issues later on in life. 

This story hit me because a similar experience happened to me. It felt quite real. I was racially bullied when I was primary school, along with being called ugly many times. Of course, I felt pretty low and thought there was something wrong with me. I still remember the people who did it today. Seriously, no matter how old you are, you will always remember the people who made part of your life shit. So if i was in that girl's shoes, I would have turned him down flat. Too much effort on planning to stand him up. 

However, I actually applaud the girl for standing up to him. He does not deserve her time. 

Here is the video. It is the first story.

Dear Ex-Best Friend...

I will have to try and get my memory working because I cannot remember who my best friends were back then. It's been a long time since having a best friend and a lot of people have left my life so remembering is difficult, but here are some of the reasons that may have happened.

1) We drifted apart
So common when one of us either go to a different college, university, a new circle of friends or we can't be bothered anymore. With me going to university and you guys behind and getting a full-time job, it was inevitable.

2) You are a bitch
There is a reason why I cut you out of my life. I don't need this crap in my life. All negativity and it's very much high school mentality. I'm not getting any younger and I don't want to be dealing with it. 

3) I was a bitch
I'm no saint either. I will happily admit that. Reasons for being a bitch? I guess I was young and naive, and if everybody around you is having a bitch-fest, you'll be persuaded to join in. But I've learnt my lesson since school. If anything now, for the people who know me really well, I'm a funny bitch. BETCH. 

4) The boyfriend or girlfriend
It was probably your first time having a serious partner, and so you spent all of your time with them. I don't blame you. I was in that situation before too. It's a new experience and you'd want to soak it up as much as possible, but that means leaving your friends behind too. I guess this can be part of 'drifting apart'. It's also not great being the third wheel either. 

5) More than friends
Having feelings for your best friend is a tricky one. I think there has been plenty of times where I have had feelings for my male best friend but he didn't feel the same, or he liked me but I didn't. And then of course, you have to distance yourself for things not to get weird, but things do get weird because you're not talking. AAAH! Complicated.

6) You had a new best friend
That moment of feeling abandoned for another friend is a pretty shit feeling. Everyone who had a best friend has experienced the "Who is this bitch taking my bestest friend in the whole world away from me?" But then you realise your best friend doesn't see you as her most closest anymore and it's a really sad moment in time. You get left out and you don't know what to do, but you move on with new friends. I felt down when that happened, only because of all those years spent together was thrown away. 

7) We let each other down
When something has happened or we're at a different stage in life, we weren't there for each other. A sad confession I'd like to make is that when I don't want to be your friend anymore, I don't actually fully tell you - I ignore you or say politey why we shouldn't be friends until you get the point. It is the shittiest way to do it, which is why naturally drifting apart makes things easier. I don't like confrontations and I think ending a friendship can be as hard as ending a romantic relationship. 

However, if it is about someone who has turned nasty, I feel they don't deserve my explanation. They should know within themselves why the friendship has ended, unless they think they're a saint. Then they're delusional. 

I think my list can go on and on. And you know the saying "Boyfriends Come And Go But Friends Are Forever"? Not true. One can easily go as much as the other. 

You know what is definitely forever? Family. 

My Teenage Years Vs My Little Sisters

There is 8 years difference between me and sister. Only 8 years but you wouldn't be able to tell - she's the same height as me. She's 13 at the moment (turning 14 in August) and since she's now classed as a teen, I've realised that she won't be having the same experiences that I had gone through. Here's a few:

• MSN - This messenger was our life! The one thing that stood out was the emoticons that replaced every single word. Such an effort to read.

• Internet - Today, we have WiFi. Back then, we had this cable shit where we had to share this singular wire that would only provide internet for one computer at a time. Tough times. 

• Flip phones - Actually, forget the flip phones, I remember the BRICKS. Thick ass phones that resembled a shoe. And then flip phones came into fashion and I loved them. You drop your flip phone? Only the outside is scratched. You drop your iPhone? Everything is broke. Loooong gone. 

• MP3 and CD players - I loved my little MP3 - None of that error shit I get with my iPhone when I want to put music on. A bugger carrying portable CD players though. And carrying the actual CD too. That's why mother's bags are so big - they be carrying all those Cee-Deeees. 

• Limewire - This was the software where you would download free music illegally. I could download anything from it. Whereas now with iTunes if I wanted a song, it's harder now due to availability. Limewire made things accessible.

• 90s - This ranges from music (like Britney, Backstreet Boys, Celine Dion ballads, Aqua) to fashion (like Jelly shoes). Hairstyles count too.

• Bebo - Started in 2005, this became THE social media site to be on. Like Facebook, but quirkier. The skins were amazing. Made all of mine on Paint. So hard. 

• Racism - Witnessing my sister going to Primary and now Secondary school, I think the racism has toned down and much better than when I was at school. I loathed Primary school. I didn't like going - I had to face daily racism from stupid people - ranged from people not sitting next to me to boys mimicking karate moves in front of me. All because of my race. It was sad. I never told my mother. They made me feel ashamed that I was Chinese. I know now that I should have told my mother - I was only under 11 when these things happened. I shouldn't have fought it alone. So when my sister went to Primary, I was very wary and felt over-protective of her because of what I went through. I still am. Only last year she had a couple of boys racially abuse her and of course, we stepped in. 

• Innocence - I've heard various stories that girls this young have had intercourse, doing drugs and smoking - You what mate? At 13, I played with Tamagotchis and collected Pokemon cards. They want to grow up too fast. 

• Chalkboards - Messy as fuck. Makes you look like you've been raiding the crack cupboard when the chalk powder goes all over the place.

There's probably more that I have missed out but these are the things that stood out for me. It's just weird how times change. And my little baby is growing up so fast. Waaa.